Day 60, Jeremiah 50-52, Lamentations 1-5

Really not a lot to say today -- this reading was pretty psalm-like in the sense that it was 1) mostly in verse and 2) boring. Jeremiah wraps up on the same note we ended on yesterday, with God describing the doom that will befall other nations. Of interest, I learned that the Babylonians are actually not the same as the Persians who later allowed the Jews to return to Israel. In chapters 50 and 51, Jeremiah prophesies the downfall of Babylon at the hands of an unnamed empire. The final chapter is an "appendix" summarizing Zedekiah's reign, taken almost word for word from 2 Kings 24... because Kings hasn't been summarized enough!

The brief book that follows, Lamentations, is a collection of five poems about how bummed everyone is about the fall of Jerusalem. Since this is pretty boring I tried to liven it up by pretending it was an allegory for Brian Sabean trading Jonathan Sanchez to the Royals. I just found out about this yesterday, and although it's actually a decent trade, I'm sentimental about Slingin' Jonny Sanchez and it hit me hard. For the most part this allegory doesn't work, but I kept it in mind as I read. Of Jerusalem, the poet writes, "She weeps bitterly in the night; / tears run down her cheeks. / Among all who loved her / she has no one to bring her comfort. / Her friends have all betrayed her; / they have become her enemies" (Lamentations 1:2). Jonathan Sanchez weeps just as Jerusalem does; his friends, the Giants, have betrayed him by sending him to Kansas, where he -- as a member of another team -- must become their enemy.

The poet continues: "The Lord has made her suffer / because of her countless sins" (Lamentations 1:5). "The Lord" is clearly a metaphor for the Giants front office, and most prominent among the sins in question is that insane walks-per-nine-innings rate that is just getting worse every year. Oh Jonny. If only you could have harnessed that talent we all know you have. But alas, it could not be.

The people in Jerusalem are starving and search for bread, saying, "Look, Lord, and see / how cheap I am accounted" (Lamentations 1:11). As Dirty 57 has taught us, cheap is relative. With arbitration we'd owe him five million for 2012, and he'll be a free agent in '13.

I could keep doing this, but I think you get the point. The poems continue on a similar note, with a few references to people eating their children. Why are people ALWAYS eating their children in the bible? Who does that?! I'm pretty sure even the freakin' Donner Party waited for people to die of natural causes before eating them.

Sorry for being so brief today. Like the Israelites I am in mourning, although I know these surprising events may yield greater joy in years to come. For the time being, I urge you to remember Jonathan Sanchez!

Good night, sweet prince!