But that is irrelevant, because right now we're going to talk about LUKE! I just do those little introductory paragraphs so you can get some insight into my SOUL and form an idea about what sort of fantastic person I am.
Since I'm feeling lazy today, I'm going to follow the format I've been using and just tell you about things that deviate from Matthew's version of the story, and things I found particularly interesting.
Chapter 6 contains Luke's account of the Sermon on the Mount, with a modified version of the Beatitudes. On top of listing everyone who is "blessed," Luke also adds a series of "woes":
"But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation.
"Woe to you who are full now, for you shall be hungry.
"Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep.
"Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets."
Luke 6:24-26
I actually think I might like this even more than Matthew's version. Although you could interpret it in a sort of boring, simplistic way and say that Jesus is simply deriding the aristocratic priests and pharisees, I've always liked to see these Beatitudes as an expression that life has its ups and downs; those who are happy now will eventually be sad, and those who are sad will eventually be happy. In his excellent book, The Last Temptation of Christ, Nikos Kazantzakis writes, "A prophet is the one who, when everyone else despairs, hopes. And when everyone else hopes, he despairs. You'll ask me why. It's because he has mastered the Great Secret: that the Wheel turns."
Pretty cool!
Chapter 7 contains assorted healings and exorcisms, most of which we've heard of before. There is an instance where Jesus raises a woman's son from the dead; I think this might be unique to Luke. There is also an incident that somewhat mirrors Jesus's anointment in Bethany, but bears differences as well. Jesus is invited to eat in the house of a Pharisee -- because Luke depicts him as being chummier with the Pharisees in general -- and a woman starts kissing his feet and anointing him. The Pharisees reprimand him, since she is evidently a sinful woman, but he provides them with a parable about two servants. Both are in debt, one for fifty denarii and one for five hundred, and the moneylender lets them both off the hook. Jesus asks the Pharisees which one will be more grateful, and they answer the one with the greater debt. Jesus explains that this is how the woman has been before God: "I entered your house," Jesus says to them, "you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair... Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven -- for she loved much" (Luke 7:44-48). This is a pretty nice message, but the Pharisees are distracted by the fact that Jesus had the nerve to forgive someone of their sins! Who is he to do that, huh?
Not a lot of new stuff in chapter 8 or 9, although Mary Magdalene receives her first mention that isn't related to the building of Jesus's tomb. She is described as one of his followers, along with a handful of other women. Apparently Jesus is popular with the ladies.
In chapter 10, Jesus sends out SEVENTY-TWO disciples to do exorcisms and healings for him. Seventy-two! That's a lot! For the record, this doesn't replace the earlier stories where he sent out just the twelve, but supplements it. When the seventy-two return, they are super psyched about all the powers that Jesus gave them, and everyone is really happy! In his enthusiastic joy, Jesus thanks God for being such a swell guy and "[hiding] these things from the wise and understanding and [revealing] them to little children" (Luke 10:21). Enthusiasm ABOUNDS from everyone here!
Chapter 10 also provides us with the parable of the Good Samaritan, which I imagine you are familiar with; someone asks Jesus who he should consider his "neighbor" and we get a great little story. Basically, a man is beaten up and left on the side of the road. A priest walks by and ignores him, then a Levite walks by and does the same thing. Only the Samaritan is willing to stop and help the poor guy out. "Which of these three," Jesus asks the crowd, "proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?" (Luke 10:36).
For the record, Samaritans are a sort of fringe sect of Judaism. Instead of praying at the temple they pray at Mount Gerozim, and they only acknowledge the Pentateuch as their biblical canon. They are historical rivals with the Jews, and although their numbers have dwindled substantially, a small population still exists today! Gee!
At the end of chapter 10, Jesus visits two babes named Mary and Martha. Martha occupies herself serving Jesus, while Mary relaxes. Did we mention that EVERYONE in this book is named Mary? Anyway, at some point in the evening Martha approaches Jesus and asks him if he noticed that her sister is being a lazy bitch, to which Jesus responds, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:41-42).
What does that even mean?!
In chapter 11, Jesus continues a-preachin' and a-healin', providing us with the Lucan version of the Lord's Prayer. I've noticed that everyone is really EXCITED in Luke; at one point a woman exclaims, "Blessed is the womb that bore you, and the breasts at which you nursed!" to which Jesus responds, "Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!" (Luke 11:27-28). Luke sure likes his EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!! I feel you, pal. I'm a fan of the exclamation point myself.
The last two chapters seemed headed towards the end-of-days kind of stuff we saw in Matthew and Luke: we've got the mention of the sign of Jonah, urges that the people stay alert and ready, etc. Remember that line in Matthew where Jesus says he comes bringing a sword, not peace? Here it is phrased a little differently, and I thought it rang a bell: "Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth?" Jesus asks. "No, I tell you, but rather division" (Luke 12:51). Jesus is going to cause DIVISION on earth? You don't say!
Anyway, I'll leave you here for today. More Luke tomorrow. The party never ends!
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