Today we begin Ezekiel! This is actually the last long book of the Old Testament and will occupy us through the weekend, but after that nothing will take longer than two days. Wow! It's hard to believe how far we've come.
Like Jeremiah and Isaiah, Ezekiel began his ministry before the fall of Jerusalem and continued into the exile. The book is divided roughly into three sections -- judgement on Judah, judgement on other nations, and future blessings for Israel -- and thematically seems to differ very little from the other "prophetic" books we've read. However, the language is very vivid and so far I've found Ezekiel at least a little more compelling than his contemporaries. Also of note: in most translations, God refers to Ezekiel as "son of man" which is pretty cool. Unfortunately, in my version he uses the phrase "O Man." That's really stupid; I can't stop thinking that God is just going, "Oh man, oh geez!" all the time.
The book begins with Ezekiel's "calling," which includes a very trippy vision of God appearing in a flaming chariot, accompanied by four weird looking cherubim with animal faces. God tells Ezekiel to do his bidding, be brave, etc, then hands him a scroll and tells him to EAT IT. Ezekiel obliges and "it taste[s] as sweet as honey" (Ezekiel 3:3). After the paper eating debacle, he goes into a house and ties himself up, "putting the weight of Israel's punishment [on his left side]" (Ezekiel 4:4). God instructs him to remain in this condition for THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY DAYS to symbolize the three hundred and ninety years of Israel's punishment. Afterwards, he has to switch sides and do another forty days for Judah. Jesus Christ!
For nourishment during this time, Ezekiel is supposed to eat "wheat, barley, beans, lentils, millet, and vetches" mixed in one bowl and publicly "baked like barley cakes, with human dung as fuel" (Ezekiel 4:9-12). Ezekiel protests that he has never been ritually impure in his life, so God agrees to let him cook the cakes with cow dung instead of human dung. What a nice guy!
I'm also not sure how he can cook this food in public if he's supposed to be lying on the ground tied up, but maybe I missed something.
In chapter 5 Ezekiel has to shave his beard and hair using a sword and "divide the hair into three lots" (Ezekiel 5:2). When the siege comes he has to burn one set of hair, scatter one set around the city, and throw the last set into the wind. Isn't this fun? There is more talk of people eating their children and other approaching doom as well, occupying the better part of chapters 6 and 7. In chapter 8 a strange man appears -- who "from the waist down [seems] to be all fire and from the waist up... shine[s] and glitter[s] like brass" (Ezekiel 8:2) -- and takes Ezekiel to the temple, where he has a nice chat with God. Some other men enter the temple and God instructs one of them to go through the city, physically marking anyone who is pious. The others he instructs to find those without the mark and "kill and destroy [them], men old and young, girls, little children, and women" (Ezekiel 9:6). That'll teach you to be SINNERS, little girls of Jerusalem!
In chapter 10, God leaves the temple, making a pretty showy display with his cherubim -- but the gist of the scene is that he is abandoning Judah, and abandonment by God is the worst punishment conceivable in biblical times. I can see why, considering he's such an amicable guy. Who doesn't want him around?
Chapters 12 through 14 talk about prophets and how tough it is for the people to distinguish between real prophets and false ones, blah blah blah. Basically everyone is screwed. You get it by now.
Today's reading ended with a nice little parable about a vine in a forest surrounded by big trees. Israel is the vine, cultivated by God and generally useless, especially "when burnt and charred by fire" (Ezekiel 13:5). The message of the story, as far as I can tell, is that GOD'S GONNA FUCK YOU UP, ISRAEL!
YEAH!!!
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