Quite a bit of material today! I love when books are short enough that I can read them in one day, it makes me feel so accomplished. All this stuff is pretty great too, so get excited!
Ecclesiastes stays awesome throughout its duration, with the Speaker giving us some choice existentialist quotes: "Who can know," he asks, "what is good for anyone in this life, this brief span of futile existence through which one passes like a shadow? What is to happen afterwards here under the sun, who can tell?" (Ecc 6:12) I sure can't!!! But Godot will arrive any minute now, and maybe he can shed some light on the situation.
The nicest part about Ecclesiastes -- and the thing that makes it a million times cooler than Job -- is that despite his anguish, the Speaker has a really uplifting message, and it's not a cheap one either. He "commend[s] enjoyment, since there is nothing good for anyone to do here under the sun but to eat and drink and enjoy himself; this is all that will remain with him to reward his toil throughout the span of life which God grants him here under the sun" (Ecc 8:15). If you want a simpler version of that, here's a nice Kurt Vonnegut quote: "I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different." The Speaker tells us not to worry too much about life being SCARY AND INSCRUTABLE because he has "always perceived that God has so ordained it that no human being should be able to discover what is happening here" (Ecc 8:17). Well, there ya go.
The only issue I had with the Speaker is that he's kind of a misogynist, and to that end doesn't seem to know very much about women! In chapter 7 he remarks that "I have found one man in a thousand worthy to be called upright, but I have not found one woman among them all" (Ecc 7:27). Jerk! You obviously haven't met, uhh... Mother Theresa? I don't know. He goes on to show his ignorance of the female sex when he states, "As you do not know how a pregnant woman comes to have a body and a living spirit in her womb, so you do not know the work of God, the maker of all things" (Ecc 11:5). Well Speaker, let me explain this phenomenon to you: when a mommy and daddy love each other very much...
Just kidding! And all joking aside, having "a body and living spirit" in the womb is a pretty cool way to describe pregnancy.
The book ends with a description of old age and death, then a postscript about how you should fear and obey God. According to the footnotes, this was probably added later and "is in tension with the rest of the book." No kidding!
Next up we have Song of Songs, which is SEXY POETRY! Seriously, it's awesome. Whenever I hear people talk about the establishment of biblical canon, this book is always brought up. Why is it in here at all? In order to answer this question, some people have chosen to interpret it as an allegory "extol[ling] the virtues of deep rather than transient love." That's nice, but I think I'm just going to interpret it as SEXY POETRY because that seems a whole lot more fun.
The book depicts a dialogue between two young lovers, a bride and bridegroom. The bride wastes no time getting down to business, urging her boyfriend to "bring [her] into [his] chamber, O king" (Song 1:4). Their dialogue is generally sort of ode-like, with the two lovers praising each other. Sometimes they get a little raunchy too: "The curves of your thighs are like ornaments devised by a skilled craftsman," says the bridegroom. "...Your two breasts are like two fawns, twin fawns of a gazelle" (Song 7:1-4). There are a lot of thinly veiled sexual euphemisms, like when the bridegroom requests, "Let me climb up into the palm to grasp its fronds" (Song 7:8), and throughout the work is the refrain, "I charge you, maidens of Jerusalem: Do not rouse or awaken love until it is ready." Interpret that as you will.
I underlined a ton of lines in this section, but I feel like it'd be redundant to share them all. Just know that there's a lot of good sexy material I've neglected to mention if you want to read this book yourself. It's a short one! Might be worth your while!
One thing I can't resist sharing, however, is this line: "How beautiful are your breasts, my sister and bride!" (Song 4:10). Apparently "sister" is a term of endearment in ancient Egypt, but just as I decided not to interpret this as an allegory, I'm also going to choose to ignore these minor technical details and MAKE INCEST JOKES!!!!
HAHAHAHAH INCEST!!!!
With that being said, onto Isaiah! The Book of Isaiah, named for a prolific prophet, is a rather lengthy tome that will have us occupied for the rest of the week. It concerns the reigns of the last four Judean kings, as well as the Exile. The first thirty-nine chapters consist of speeches, reports of Isaiah's activities, and an APPENDIX (don't we love those?), through which the prophet attempts to interpret the events of the turbulent period. Chapters 40-55 detail the exploits of an unnamed prophet who lived during the Exile, and the last ten chapters are about Jewish life and thought in Babylon. Sounds good!
The first five chapters of the book are basically Isaiah complaining about how naughty the Jews have been: "How the faithful city has played a whore!" he says of Jerusalem (Isaiah 1:21). Things get really saucy in chapter 3 when, in response to their unfaithfulness, God "smite[s] with baldness the women of Zion...mak[ing] bare their foreheads" (Isaiah 3:17). He makes them all hideously attractive and kills their husbands in war, so that by chapter 4 they're all super bummed out and have to "take hold of one man" (Isaiah 4:1) and beg him to marry them.
Chapter 5 explains the dire situation further with a parable about a vineyard. In the parable, a man plants a vineyard and builds a watchtower and wall around it, anticipating that it will yield quality grapes. However, the vineyard is shit and his crops turn out gross. Isaiah likens the vineyard to Israel, and the farmer to God.
So the gist of Isaiah so far is that God is pissed and Israel is about to get punished. Well, what else is new?
More of this tomorrow! See you then!
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