I always swear on weekend mornings when I'm not hung over that I'm going to wake up early and be productive, so of course it's almost lunch time and I'm just getting started on today's blog entry. My humble readership, feel important! I am putting off cleaning my room for you, even if it means that little particles of dust are flying around my head as I type these words and driving me INSANE.
At the start of today's reading, David officially passes his title onto Solomon, who in turn begins to make royal decisions and establish his kingship. His first moves as king, detailed in chapter 2, are kind of dick-ish; he wants to change around the royal cabinet, so he has the loyal-yet-bloodthirsty Joab killed and the high priest, Abiathar, deposed. Arguably the worst thing he does is have his brother, the would-be-king Adonijah, put to death for requesting to marry a concubine named Abishag -- even after he promised he would honor the request before hearing it. What a jerk!
At this point in the reading I was not a huge Solomon fan, but after chapter 3 I warmed up to him a little. One night, Solomon goes to a shrine in Gibeon (since there was no temple, the Israelites worshiped at shrines), where he has a dream and sees God. God permits him to make one request, and while he could have asked for Pokemon Black Version like I would have done, he shows some maturity and pleads for "a heart with skill to listen, so that he may govern [God's] people justly and distinguish good from evil" (1 Kings 3:9). What a nice wish! God thinks so too; he grants Solomon's request, and since he is so impressed with the fact that Solomon didn't ask for riches, a long life, or Pokemon Black Version, he adds that he will give these things to the young king anyway.
Solomon returns to Jerusalem, and what follows is one of the most famous stories about his reign. Two prostitutes come to him and ask him to settle a problem for them. Both of them had given birth to sons within a few days of each other, and the first prostitute claims that the other woman accidentally sat on top of her baby in the middle of the night and, upon realizing her mistake, switched the kids. Prostitute #2 insists that this is a lie.
Since Solomon is SO RIDICULOUSLY WISE he comes up with a clever ruse to determine the true mother: "Cut the living child in two," he says, "and give half to one woman and half to the other" (1 Kings 3:25). One of the women thinks this is a great freakin' idea but the true mother is so overcome with love for her son that she begs for him not to do it, even if the other prostitute gets to keep the baby. The latter he identifies as the real mother.
Are active prostitutes really the most effective parental figures anyway? Maybe these women should look into adoption...
Just to give you some insight into the creative process of writing this blog, when I read each chapter I write down a title to help me remember what happened. The title of this chapter was "Solomon has a dream, helps some hookers." With titles like that, you know this is a good book!
Chapter 4 provides us with details on Solomon's royal cabinet; of interest, someone is designated to be "in charge of the calendar" (1 Kings 4:2) and someone's title is "King's Friend" (1 Kings 4:5). Okay, so the footnote explains that a "friend" is actually some kind of political role in ancient Israel, but I still think it's funny!
Also remarkable about Solomon's reign is the fact that there are no more wars! For the first time EVER Israel is simply full of peace and prosperity! That's pretty cool. Since Solomon is so goddamn smart, he is said to have written "three thousand proverbs, and his songs numbered a thousand and five" (1 Kings 4:32). He also does discourses on trees, fish, birds, etc, and people come from far and wide to hear him speak.
Chapters 5 through 7 hearken to the Tabernacle building days of the Torah, because they describe the construction of the First Temple in Jerusalem. In essence, we get to hear A LOT about how many cubits everything is. In chapter 8 there is a rather lengthy dedication of the temple, complete with sacrifices and prayers and lots of stuff I tried really hard to pay attention to but was not entirely successful. The most important thing to know about the temple is that its presence means it is now the only place where sacrifices and religious pilgrimages should occur. The shrines are nullified, and from what I can tell, their existence will be a continuing issue in chapters to come.
Chapter 9 provides us with some neat details about Solomon's reign. For instance, his father-in-law -- the Pharaoh of Egypt! -- conquers Gezer and gives it to Solomon and his wife as a wedding present, thus expanding Israelite territory. This chapter also contains a record of the forced labor employed to build the temple. It was built by slaves! Specifically, it was built by "the survivors of the Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites...employed by Solomon on perpetual forced labor, as they still are" (1 Kings 9:20-21). That's not very nice!
Anyway, that's all I've got for today. I'm going to clean my room now. Keep it real, guys!
My room is so messy it doesn't even have a floor anymore! If only I had your discipline.
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I read that they were building the house, I prepared myself for a lengthy discussion of cubits. Alas, my prediction was correct. But it was quite short compared to all the tabernacle business!