Day 44, Psalms 21-46

Wow. I've got to say, I'm really trying with these Psalms, but nothing I do can make them even remotely interesting. I feel like if I was a better biblical scholar I would know their SECRET POINT and enjoy them more, but as far as I can tell they're just repetitive poems about how great God is. Apparently scholars group them into assorted categories like laments, hymns, etc, and I tried to read about that, but it didn't make them cooler so I gave up. All I have to offer you are a few snarky comments. I hope that's okay.

Actually, I'm going to start with a non-snarky observation. Psalm 22 opens with the line, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Psalms 22:1). Hey, that's what Jesus said on the cross! Even while he was gruesomely dying he was able to make a nice little literary allusion. That's dedication!

Psalm 23 is one of the most famous poems in the book, opening with the line, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall want for nothing" (Psalms 23:1) or some variation of that. I only know it because Pink Floyd parodies it in one of their songs. Also, this psalm contains some mention of the "shadow of the valley of death" (Psalms 23:4) which is definitely from some rap song. Am I right? I know I'm right.

Psalm 25 contains the line "Do not remember the sins of my youth / and my rebellious ways" (Psalm 25:7). YES. I AGREE WITH THIS, and someone needs to tell my parents, who have pictures of me in middle school plastered all over the walls of their house. Goddamnit.

Psalm 26 contains the line, "Lord, I love the house where you live, / the place where your glory dwells" (Psalms 26:8) which I thought was funny because I imagined some stereotypically gay guy going into God's house and being like, "Oh geez I love what you've done with the place!!!"

Are these observations completely retarded? Bear with me, I have no freaking material to work with!

In Psalm 29, it is said that "the Lord... makes Lebanon leap like a calf" (Psalm 29:6). That's quite the trick! Can he make Syria roll over? Can he make Egypt play dead?

From Psalm 37: "I was young and now I am old, / yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken / or their children begging bread" (Psalm 37:25). We already went over this back in Job, but whoever wrote this OBVIOUSLY ISN'T PAYING ANY GODDAMN ATTENTION. STOP BEING DUMB, BIBLICAL POET.

Last but not least we have a weird line from Psalm 42: "As the deer pants for streams of water / so my soul pants for you, my God" (Psalms 42:1). In my delirious, bored state, I found this line weirdly sexual. Is it just me? It's just me, huh.

Geez Louise. I am really sorry to disappoint, and I'm even more sorry that we still have a whole week of this crap. I will continue looking for ways to make it interesting. Today I tried substituting "the Lord" with other, funnier names, but that didn't work. Tomorrow I will brainstorm a new scheme.