Day 45, Psalms 47-73

First off, IT'S DAY 45!!! WE'RE AT THE HALFWAY MARK! WAHOO!!!!!!

Secondly, I want to apologize, because I wrote this yesterday and then totally forgot to post it. So to my clamoring readership, I am sorry.

Anyway, today we continue with Psalms, which remain boring. It may seem like I don't have a lot of observations. I want to let you know that I actually do, it just so happens that most of them are stupid, unspeakably vulgar, or involve semen, so I'm opting not to share them. But they're there. Rest assured, they're there.

The thing that annoys me most about the psalms is that on top of being repetitive, they are also incredibly morally one-dimensional. It's like someone took all the most unsatisfying conclusions drawn in the Book of Job and wrote sixty billion poems about them. I'm a 21st century woman! I want moral ambiguity! I want torment and angst! And mostly, I want sex and violence. Psalms is just not doing it for me.

That being said, I picked out a few areas of interest. I thought Psalm 49 was pretty cool; it's about how all people die and so it doesn't really matter if someone is rich and you're poor because one day you'll both be DEAD!! People, the author writes, "are like sheep and are destined to die; / death will be their shepherd" (Psalms 49:14). He goes on to tell us not to be "overawed when others grow rich, / when the splendor of their houses increases; / for they will take nothing with them when they die, / their splendor will not descend with them" (Psalms 49:16-17). True that, Psalms! Everyone DIES!!

Also of note: although the rich are described as "descending" after death, it doesn't mean that they're going to hell. Jews believed that everyone went to Sheol, which is -- to my understanding -- sort of like the Greek Hades: a dark, contemplative, boring place.

Psalm 53 is about CRAZY FOOLS who don't believe in God. Imagine that! It mentions that these people are "overwhelmed with dread, / where there was nothing to dread" (Psalms 53:5). Nothing to dread?! Maybe they have an econ midterm on Wednesday. Okay, biblical poet? Did you ever think of that?

In Psalm 55, there's a sort-of neat line, spoken in anguish: "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! / I would fly away and be at rest. / I would flee far away / and stay in the desert; / I would hurry to my place of shelter, / far from the tempest and storm" (Psalms 55:6-8). Well, that's kind of poetic. We've all been there, I guess.

Lastly, Psalm 56 talks about being pursued by enemies, but affirms, "In God I trust and am not afraid. / What can man do to me?" (Psalms 56:11). Man can do a LOT to you, Mister Biblical Poet. But it's a nice thought. You're cute and earnest. I like that.

We have three more days of Psalms and then move onto Proverbs, which has got to be better than this. Hang in there.