So. Our story. After Haman's death, Mordecai is chosen by the king to replace him as chief officer. Esther convinces her husband to issue a writ that would legally protect the Jews from persecution and entitle them to act in "self-defense." By granting them permission to act in "self-defense" the text apparently means that they are allowed to mindlessly slaughter as many people as they want, because they wind up killing SEVENTY-FIVE THOUSAND PEOPLE! Among these people are Haman's ten sons, by the way. In the aftermath of this, "many of the peoples of the world [profess] Judaism, because fear of the Jews had fallen on them" (Esther 8:17). Oh man. Enjoy this while you can, Jews, because there aren't too many times in history after this where people are going to think you're scary.
After the massacre of thousands of people, the Jews gather together to celebrate their good fortune, creating the festival of PURIM. I FREAKING LOVE PURIM! IT'S LIKE JEWISH HALLOWEEN! Chapter 10 provides a simple conclusion, letting us know everyone is happy. Hooray!
Onto the Book of Job. What a crazy story. I would imagine that everyone is somewhat familiar with it (or at least everyone who has seen the South Park episode about it) but nonetheless it has proven one of the better reads of the bible so far, at least from a literary perspective. The majority of the text is a poem, bookended by a prologue and conclusion in prose, and it addresses the question of why a just and loving God allows people to suffer.
The prologue introduces our charming protagonist, a man named Job, who has a sweet freaking life. He has ten swell kids, a farm, seven thousand sheep... Everything a guy could want! He is also incredibly pious, never speaking against God and regularly sanctifying his children, in case they sinned.
One day God is chilling in the court of heaven with Satan, bragging about what a faithful servant Job is. Satan challenges this, saying that Job is only pious because he is so fortunate and happy; if God took away all those things, he would curse the deity and give up his faith. Instead of, you know, being the bigger person, God says, "YOU'RE ON, SATAN!" and decides to fuck Job in the ass with a mop handle and no lubricant.
Job is in his house when a messenger arrives to tell him that his sheep have been stolen. Soon after another messenger informs him that his fields have burned down. And after that, a third messenger tells him that his son's house has collapsed and all his children are dead. Well shit. That's a lot of bad news at once. Job takes it a lot better than I would have, saying, "Naked I came from the womb, naked I shall return whence I came. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21). WOW. What a dolt. I'd be pissed!
FYI, my favorite part of this entire book so far is completely indecipherable to non-Giants fans, but I have to point it out. Job's oxen are stolen by a group of nomads called the Sabeans, who "swoop down and carry them off" (Job 1:15). Who is Sabean, but our beloved General Manager back in San Francisco?!!!
He probably wanted the sheep to play for the Giants because of their veteran grit. These sheep will start games next season instead of Brandon Belt because they're "experienced." The sheep will have a seven year, 120 million dollar contract. Just watch.
After all this, it seems like God has won his bet, but Satan takes it a step further. Sure, he says, you ruined Job's livelihood and killed his family, but you left him in good health! Satan suggests that if Job was infected with horrible leprosy/boils/etc he would be less pious. God once again takes the bait, but Job does not. Even when his wife urges him to "curse God, and die" (Job 2:9) he remains devoted. At the end of chapter 2, his friends come to see him. At first they don't recognize him, but when they figure out who he is, they sit around him in silence for seven days. That's cool. You know, there's a house to be rebuilt and fields to be resown and stuff... But if you guys just want to chill, that's cool too.
At this point the poem starts! I would actually recommend checking this out for yourself, since my summary can only give you the gist of the plot and, unlike most of the bible so far, the language in Job is pretty. The poem is arranged in three "cycles" of speech, through which Job and his friends discuss why he has come to such unfortunate ends.
In his first speech, Job expresses his confusion at what is going on, begging to die rather than suffer for incomprehensible reasons. His friends are, in my view, annoyingly callous and unsympathetic. The first to respond, Eliphaz, chastises him for complaining: "Does your piety give you no assurance? Does your blameless life afford you no hope?" (Job 4:6). He goes on to ask, "Has any innocent person ever perished?" (Job 4:7). Oh god, Eliphaz... Maybe you should retake some of those history classes you slept through in high school before you say shit like that.
In chapter 6, Job retorts that he has done no wrong and thus does not deserve to suffer, lamenting the futility of life. It is actually kind of existential if you squint. His second friend, Bildad, responds more heatedly than Eliphaz, calling Job's speech the "long-winded ramblings of an old man" (Job 8:2). What an asshole! Bildad believes that God does not "pervert justice" (Job 8:3) and that if Job is patient he will be rewarded.
Job responds by saying that God "destroys blameless and wicked alike" (Job 9:22), suggesting that God is almost careless in his treatment of people. One line I particularly liked was this: "If I think 'I shall forget my complaints, I shall show a cheerful face and smile,' I still dread all I must suffer" (Job 9:27-28). Tell it like it is, Job! This reminds me of myself every Monday morning. A cheerful attitude can only do so much in this crazy world of ours.
His third friend, Zophar, tells him that he is being arrogant to assume he can "fathom the mystery of God" (Job 11:7). It's like that old saying: God works in mysterious ways, and that's why your life sucks. It's not because your existence is futile and inherently meaningless and that your presence on this earth and everything that happens to you is completely random. It's because God works in mysterious ways! I hope that helps you sleep at night.
In chapters 12 through 14 Job continues to whine about his circumstance, and man is he existential! It's like I'm reading L'etranger or something: "Every being born of woman is short-lived and full of trouble," Job says. "He blossoms like a flower and withers away" (Job 14:1-2). Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, huh?
Chapter 15 begins the second cycle of speeches, wherein Eliphaz accuses Job of being secretly sinful because he hates wisdom, priestly piety, and prophecy. It is unfathomable to Job's friends that he is simply being fucked in the ass by God for fun. They think it has to be some kind of punishment. The gist of his speech is that sometimes the wicked seem to prosper, but it is always short-lived. I wonder what Team Rocket would say to that.
Anyway, it is kind of an awkward place to end the reading. If I was in charge of these readings I would stop it at the end of chapter 14, the first cycle of speeches. BUT I'M NOT! TOO FREAKING BAD!
Tomorrow we read more of Job. It's a really long book! And remember guys: IL FAUT IMAGINER SISYPHE HEUREUX!!!!!!
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