Day 11, Leviticus 24-27, Numbers 1-4

Good morning everyone! Today's reading takes us to the end of Leviticus and into Numbers, the fourth book of the Torah. From what I can tell, Numbers looks like it's going to be a little more story-oriented than Leviticus, which is always fun, although these laws have been a good time too.

We begin today with a description of how to clean the lamps in the tabernacle, and instructions for the priests to bake twelve loafs of bread every week for the Sabbath; this totally refers to CHALLAH, which I'm going to make tomorrow at KOSHER COOKING CLUB!!! Oh man. I am so excited.

After these rules we receive a fun little anecdote about a half-Israelite, half-Egyptian man living in the camp. One day he gets into a tussle with a full Israelite man and "[utters] the holy name in blasphemy" (Lev 24:11). Moses asks God what to do about this, and God responds that he should "let the whole community stone him to death" (Lev 24:15). Oh geez. That's a pretty big punishment for saying "gosh darnit."

At the end of this chapter, God lays out his handy philosophy of "fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth" (Lev 24:20). Thanks for that one, God! You're a natural diplomat!

Chapter 25 discusses a frequently reoccurring topic: the sabbath, and namely the sabbath for the land, which is excitingly called a jubilee. Just as the Israelites partake in the Sabbath on the seventh day of the week, and abstain from work, the land itself was to be given a sabbath every 7th year. God also explains a rather interesting custom of debt repayment called the Law of Redemption. When an Israelite sells or rents his land, it is not gone from his family permanently; every Jubilee year he is given the chance to buy it back. Likewise, Israelites are not to enslave each other permanently, but rather employ their countrymen as indentured servants until the Jubilee year. Real slaves, God explains, "should come from the nations around you" (Lev 25:44). This reaffirms the fact that the Torah doesn't really give a shit about slavery, just the enslavement of Jews!

Chapter 26 starts out really nice, with God explaining how he will always remain with the Israelites if they keep their covenant with him. At first I thought he was just being sweet, telling the people "I shall establish my Tabernacle among you and never spurn you. I shall be ever present among you; I shall become your God and you will become my people" (Lev 26:11-12). But after this short, loving segment, God reveals himself to be a SCARY MOTHERFUCKER by describing in much more detail what he will do to the Israelites if they don't keep the covenant. As much as I don't want to give you nightmares, I feel compelled to share a few lines: "Instead of meat," God warns, "You will eat your sons and your daughters" (Lev 26:29). He then describes how he will ravage the countryside, incite wars, and "shall make those of you who are left in the land of your enemies so fearful that, when a leaf rustles behind them in the wind, they will run as if it were a sword after them" (Lev 26:36). Wow. Jesus Christ! Don't piss God off, guys!

I personally think Leviticus could have ended here to great effect, but instead we get chapter 27, which is boring and talks about how to make vows. You have to pay a certain amount of silver for these vows depending on how old you are, and if you don't have the right number of shekels the priests will assess your wealth and decide what you have to pay. Okay. Cool. Time for Numbers!

As I did for Leviticus, I will provide a little background information on Numbers, courtesy of my study bible. Numbers tells the story of the Israelites' forty years spent in the wilderness before entering Canaan. The title Numbers came from Greek and Latin translations and was chosen because of the "various censuses and general arithmetical precision that characterize the work." This is true! I'm four chapters in and I'm already sick of all the counting.

Chapter 1 opens, fittingly, with God instructing Moses to make a census of all the men in each tribe who are over the age of twenty and capable of bearing arms. Turns out there are 603,550 people who meet these qualifications! The text tells us specifically how many come from each tribe: Judah is most populous, while Manasseh, the tribe of Joseph's older son, is least. I am forced to wonder how exactly Moses managed to conduct this census, given the absurd number of people. According to the footnotes, these numbers are perhaps real, preserved from a period after the exile when the Israelites were already settled in Canaan -- but there is no way that these were the actual numbers of Israelites wandering around in the desert, because the wilderness could not support so many people for so long. And of course, in making these observations I am already taking the leap of faith that at some point Israelites actually were actually exiled in the desert!

The Levites, FYI, are subject to a different census because of their distinction as priests. In chapter 2 they are counted, and we find that Aaron's tribe numbers 22,300 people. God explains how the Israelites should set up their camp, with the Levites centered around the Tabernacle. Wow. How very interesting.

True to the book's title, Numbers really is just counting so far. I was going to share some funny names of biblical characters (there's a guy named Mushi!!!! Hahahaha!!!) and make a Pokemon joke, but at this point it just seems really unnecessary. I will leave it here for today. In spite of its dull beginning, I think Numbers has some potential to be a funny and interesting book. Stay tuned.