As we continue to the end of 1 Samuel, we don't see a lot of continuity. In spite of everyone making up and becoming pals again at the end of chapter 24, chapter 25 sees David back in the wilderness near Carmel, on the lam. Here he encounters a couple named Abigail and Nabal, the former of whom is "a beautiful and intelligent woman" (1 Sam 25:3) but the latter of whom has inherited the biblical asshole gene. One day David sends him a polite request for a protection payment -- since David had helped out with his flocks and shepherds -- and Nabal flips a shit. At first David gets really mad and makes an oath to kill Nabal, but Abigail tracks him down and begs him not to. He realizes that if he kills a bunch of people it will hurt his campaign to be king, and refrains from committing the crime. David is becoming quite the politician! And since God likes him so much, he takes the killing into his own hands anyway, causing Nabal to get so drunk at a banquet that he has a seizure, and "ten days later the Lord [strikes] him down" (1 Sam 25:39). With the buttface Nabal out of the way, David proposes marriage to Abigail and they continue on their way.
Chapter 26 is essentially another version of chapter 24: David is faced with an opportunity to kill Saul and refrains, because of the sanctity of the "Lord's anointed" (1 Sam 26:9). In this story, David enters Saul's camp while he is sleeping, rather than Saul inadvertently finding David's hiding place, and the coolest part is when David leaves the camp and starts yelling stuff from a mountain. He condemns Abner, the king's second-in-command, for being asleep in a moment where David could have easily killed Saul, and pleads that Saul make peace with him. As in chapter 24, the king responds with an apology and blesses David.
However, these two chapters don't seem to have left a huge impression on Saul, since he resumes his manhunt in chapter 27! David is forced to flee from Israel to the Philistine territory, where he becomes a "vassal" for Achish of Gath, the king. Because of his efficiency and skill as a soldier, he is very popular among the Phillies.
The narrative shifts in chapter 28, and we return to Saul's point of view. Concerned about his waning power, he sneaks off in disguise to meet with a seer -- although he "had banished from the land all who trafficked with ghosts and spirits" (1 Sam 28:3). She summons Samuel's ghost, who tells Saul for the millionth time that his kingship is no longer legitimate and he needs to make way for David. However, as we have seen, Saul is pretty delusional and this doesn't make much of an impression on him.
In chapter 29, the Philistines and Amalekites go to war... again... David, who is serving as a vassal for Achish of Gath, is prepared to fight for the Philistine cause, but the army commanders mistrust him because of his origins and the king sends him home. Upon arriving in his town of Ziklag, he discovers that it has been raided and the populace abducted. Not only are his wives and children gone, but "the troops, embittered by the loss of their sons and daughters, [threaten] to stone him" (1 Sam 30:6). Oh no! Luckily, David is great pals with God, who tells him to track down the raiders and rescue everyone. On the way, the troops encounter an escaped slave, who directs them to the Amalekite kidnappers. As per usual, Dave and company triumph over the enemy, and everyone is happy.
This chapter provides us with further evidence of what a true champ David is; apparently, not all of the troops participated in the rescue mission, and one of the soldiers suggests to David that those who didn't go should not share in the spoils of victory. David scoffs at this idea, saying that God has delivered the raiding party into their hands and that "all must share and share alike" (1 Sam 30:24). What a great guy!
In spite of these happy occurrences, 1 Samuel ends on a bitter note. After fighting the Amalekites, the Philistines go to war with Israel, and Saul's three sons are killed in battle. Fearing that the "uncircumcised brutes may...come and taunt [him] and make sport of [him]" (1 Sam 31:4), Saul kills himself! Oh dear.
The second book of Samuel is a direct continuation of the first, and begins with David finally assuming the kingship. His respect for Saul is demonstrated once again when he receives news of the former monarch's death from one of his servants, who claims to have delivered the final blow to relieve Saul from the "throes of death" (2 Sam 1:9). David flips a shit that anyone would dare kill the "Lord's anointed" and sentences the servant to death. Kind of a jerk move, but I think he's just upset that his boy-toy Jonathan is also dead.
Chapter 1 continues with a lovely dirge that David writes himself, mourning the deaths of Saul and his sons. Jonathan gets special mention: "My brother...you were most dear to me; your love for me was wonderful, surpassing the love of a woman" (2 Sam 1:26). Whoa! Let's keep this rated PG, Dave. After all, we have to teach it in Sunday Schools.
In chapter 2, Saul's second-in-command Abner appoints the only surviving son, Ishbosheth, to be king of Israel. David, meanwhile, has assumed his role as king of Judah, and a very weird battle between the two groups ensues. During the fighting, Abner kills the son of one of David's military leaders, a man named Asahel, causing his brothers to swear vengeance. This will be significant in a moment!
Chapter 3 introduces us to David's shockingly poorly named children; among them we have Haggith, Shephatiah, and Ithream. These aren't even names! They're just words! Aside from Absalom I didn't recognize any. Solomon, as we know, will be born eventually, and I am curious how he will come to power when he has so many older brothers.
Meanwhile, back at the Israelite camp, Abner gets in an argument with Ishbosheth over a concubine, which causes him to shift loyalties. In order to prove his new found allegiance to David, he brings David's first wife Michal back to him as a gift. This is a pretty funny incident, since Michal had remarried since David went on his lam, and "her [new] husband follow[s] her as far as Bahurim, weeping all the way, until Abner order[s] him back" (2 Sam 3:16). Hah! Sucks for you, new hubby.
Abner has influence among most of the tribes, because of his connection to Saul, and David recognizes how valuable he will be as a political ally. However, not long after he arrives in the Judahite camp, Asahel's brothers murder him in revenge. Here, we really see David's prowess as a politician -- because he makes a huge stinking deal about the death, publicly cursing Abner's killers (although not sentencing them to death!) and freeing himself entirely from any blame in the eyes of the populace.
In chapter 4, the path to kingship is completely cleared for David, because Ishbosheth is murdered. In his weirdly just manner, David sentences Ishbosheth's killer to death, since apparently he saw his political rival as "an innocent man" (2 Sam 4:11).
Finally, in chapter 5, David becomes the king of Israel! He makes a covenant, differentiating his kingship from that of Saul -- who was king by conquest -- and moves the capital to Jerusalem. Jerusalem at this point was a Jebusite city, but he conquers it with ease, and settles down to have a ton more kids. Solomon is born in Jerusalem, as well as a slew of other weirdly named children like Shobab, Nepheg, and Eliphelet.
All is well in the biblical world! More tomorrow.
Showing posts with label 1 Samuel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1 Samuel. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Day 24, 1 Samuel 15-24
Today's reading takes us deeper into 1 Samuel where we meet David, the man who has usurped Esau as my favorite biblical character. He's a total badass! Let's dive right in.
Chapter 15 concerns a battle between the Israelites and the Amalekites. God instructs Saul to kill everyone, but Saul disobeys and does not kill the king or the best animals from the herds. When Samuel confronts him about it, Saul explains that he intended to keep the animals to make whole-offerings to God, but Samuel reprimands him by saying, "Does the Lord desire whole-offerings and sacrifices as he desires obedience?" (1 Sam 15:22). Whoa! That's the essence of the bible right there, isn't it? Sam elaborates further: "Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, arrogance as evil as idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you as king" (1 Sam 15:23). This reinforces what we already knew from chapter 13, that Saul's kingship will not be permanent.
In chapter 16, God sends Samuel to track down the new king, who lives in Bethlehem and is the son of a man named Jesse. When Samuel enters the house he is introduced to the man's seven eldest sons, but none of them are satisfactory to God. "Are these all the sons you have?" Samuel asks (1 Sam 16:11). The man replies that his youngest son, David, is out with the sheep, and calls him in. God announces that this boy will be the future king, and Samuel anoints him in front of his family. He also gets hired to be Saul's armor-bearer because he's great at playing the lyre and apparently, Saul is sometimes possessed by evil spirits that can only be driven out by sweet tunes.
Chapter 17 contains that timeless story everyone knows and loves, David's defeat of Goliath! The Israelites are once again at war with the Philistines/Phillies/Phightin' Phils, and are collectively intimidated by Goliath, a "champion... over nine feet in height" (1 Sam 17:4). Wow! If he went to the deep end of a swimming pool, the water wouldn't even cover his head! That's not very fun. Anyway, one day David goes to deliver bread to his three older brothers, who are fighting in the war. They are total jerks to him, by the way, saying, "What are you doing here?...I know you, you impudent young rascal; you have only come to see the fighting" (1 Sam 17:28). Saul overhears him asking about Goliath and sends for him, at which point David reveals his intent to fight the giant. Saul tells him that such a feat would be impossible, but David explains that he is "[his] father's shepherd" (1 Sam 17:34), a pretty neat line that serves the literal purpose of showing his capabilities (he talks about killing lions and bears that attack the sheep) but also suggests that God is on his side -- the "father" being God, David being the shepherd, and the Israelites being sheep. In other words, he will protect the nation.
Saul tries to give David a sword, but he casts it off, saying he cannot use a weapon that is unfamiliar to him. He takes his trusty slingshot, and you know how this ends. After David fells Goliath, Saul requests that he be introduced to the boy -- since they suddenly don't know each other anymore -- and David is invited to the palace.
Saul does not let David go home, since "he [sees] that Jonathan [his son] had given his heart to David and had grown to love him as himself" (1 Sam 18:2). One thing you should know about these chapters involving David and Jonathan is that they're SUPER GAY. Like, I think this is even gayer than Jesus and Judas, who incidentally I only think are gay because my foundational knowledge of the gospels comes from Jesus Christ Superstar. But these two don't even need an excellent movie musical for me to suspect that they swing the other way. Just bear with me. You'll see.
David is such a badass soldier that he quickly rises to a place of authority in Saul's army and becomes incredibly popular with the people. After a battle, Saul overhears the crowds singing in the street: "Saul struck down thousands / but David tens of thousands" (1 Sam 18:7) and this totally wigs him out. He becomes seized by an evil spirit (1 Sam 18:10) and spends the next few chapters trying to kill David out of jealousy. When his traditional attempts (throwing spears at David, trying to stab David, etc) fail, he devises some clever plans. For instance, he allows David to marry his younger daughter Michal for a dowry of "the foreskins of a hundred Philistines" (18:25), hoping that David will die in battle -- but of course he doesn't, and Saul becomes more impassioned and crazy about his hatred for the lad.
Saul tries to get Jonathan to help him kill David, but Jonathan is feverishly devoted to his pal and forewarns him. Michal thwarts yet another murder attempt by allowing David to escape from their bedroom window in the night, but unlike Jonathan, who openly declares his allegiance, Michal lies like a little bitch when confronted: "He said to me, 'Help me escape or I shall kill you'" (1 Sam 19:17). No he didn't! Shut up, Michal! Also, you have a boy's name!
In chapter 20, David sees that the situation with Saul is not going to improve and devises a plan of escape with Jonathan's help. Jonathan is at first shocked that his father is going to these lengths to kill David, but makes his loyalties clear, "pledg[ing] himself afresh to David because of his love for him, for he loved him as himself" (1 Sam 20:17). They arrange for David to hide in the fields for a few days until Saul notices his absence. When the king inquires about David's whereabouts, Jonathan says that he has returned home for a few days; by Saul's reaction, Jonathan will be able to gauge what his plans are. Predictably, Saul explodes with anger upon this news, since he had plotted to kill David and suspects that Jonathan is helping him. "You son of a crooked and rebellious mother!" he exclaims. "I know perfectly well you have made a friend of the son of Jesse only to bring same on yourself and dishonor on your mother" (1 Sam 20:30). In other words, Saul is pissed that his son is GAY.
After this outburst, Jonathan goes into the fields to tell David to escape. The two men "kiss one another and shed tears together" (1 Sam 20:41), then David takes off for the wilderness.
Chapter 21 details David's escape, wherein he tricks a priest into giving him bread, and meets the king of Gath. The king recognizes him, so he escapes by pretending to be mad, "scrabbling on the double doors of the city gate and dribbling down his beard" (1 Sam 21:13). The king is sufficiently convinced and lets him go.
In chapter 22, David's badassery becomes even more pronounced as he becomes an outlaw captain in the Judean wilderness! How freaking COOL! Meanwhile, Saul realizes that David has escaped, and kills the priest who gave him the bread, as well as eighty-five other priests and their families. What a jerk.
By chapter 23, another conflict arises with the Philistines, and David asks God what he should do. God tells him to fight, so he gathers up his outlaw gang and heads off to Keilah, the town being invaded. His small army overcomes the Philistine forces, but when Saul gets wind of David's location, he sends his army after the young future king. David is forced to escape once again, hiding out in the wilderness.
David takes refuge in a cave, but Saul continues searching for him. In chapter 24, the men finally confront each other when Saul unknowingly enters David's cave to "relieve himself" (1 Sam 24:3). David's men urge him to kill Saul, but David refuses to lay a hand on "the Lord's anointed" (1 Sam 24:7) and simply cuts off a piece of Saul's cloak. Then he runs out of the cave and bows down to his enemy, explaining emotionally that although he could have killed Saul in the cave, he did not, because he never meant Saul harm. Saul responds with equal emotion, proclaiming, "The right is on your side, not mine; you have treated me so well; I have treated you so badly" (1 Sam 24:17). He goes on to say that David will certainly become king of Israel, and David swears an oath to Saul.
Hooray! Everyone is friends again! I will leave things here for today. I hope you are enjoying this story as much as I am. See you tomorrow, when we wrap up the first book of Samuel and will hopefully see more exciting, crazy, and somewhat gay adventures.
Chapter 15 concerns a battle between the Israelites and the Amalekites. God instructs Saul to kill everyone, but Saul disobeys and does not kill the king or the best animals from the herds. When Samuel confronts him about it, Saul explains that he intended to keep the animals to make whole-offerings to God, but Samuel reprimands him by saying, "Does the Lord desire whole-offerings and sacrifices as he desires obedience?" (1 Sam 15:22). Whoa! That's the essence of the bible right there, isn't it? Sam elaborates further: "Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, arrogance as evil as idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you as king" (1 Sam 15:23). This reinforces what we already knew from chapter 13, that Saul's kingship will not be permanent.
In chapter 16, God sends Samuel to track down the new king, who lives in Bethlehem and is the son of a man named Jesse. When Samuel enters the house he is introduced to the man's seven eldest sons, but none of them are satisfactory to God. "Are these all the sons you have?" Samuel asks (1 Sam 16:11). The man replies that his youngest son, David, is out with the sheep, and calls him in. God announces that this boy will be the future king, and Samuel anoints him in front of his family. He also gets hired to be Saul's armor-bearer because he's great at playing the lyre and apparently, Saul is sometimes possessed by evil spirits that can only be driven out by sweet tunes.
Chapter 17 contains that timeless story everyone knows and loves, David's defeat of Goliath! The Israelites are once again at war with the Philistines/Phillies/Phightin' Phils, and are collectively intimidated by Goliath, a "champion... over nine feet in height" (1 Sam 17:4). Wow! If he went to the deep end of a swimming pool, the water wouldn't even cover his head! That's not very fun. Anyway, one day David goes to deliver bread to his three older brothers, who are fighting in the war. They are total jerks to him, by the way, saying, "What are you doing here?...I know you, you impudent young rascal; you have only come to see the fighting" (1 Sam 17:28). Saul overhears him asking about Goliath and sends for him, at which point David reveals his intent to fight the giant. Saul tells him that such a feat would be impossible, but David explains that he is "[his] father's shepherd" (1 Sam 17:34), a pretty neat line that serves the literal purpose of showing his capabilities (he talks about killing lions and bears that attack the sheep) but also suggests that God is on his side -- the "father" being God, David being the shepherd, and the Israelites being sheep. In other words, he will protect the nation.
Saul tries to give David a sword, but he casts it off, saying he cannot use a weapon that is unfamiliar to him. He takes his trusty slingshot, and you know how this ends. After David fells Goliath, Saul requests that he be introduced to the boy -- since they suddenly don't know each other anymore -- and David is invited to the palace.
Saul does not let David go home, since "he [sees] that Jonathan [his son] had given his heart to David and had grown to love him as himself" (1 Sam 18:2). One thing you should know about these chapters involving David and Jonathan is that they're SUPER GAY. Like, I think this is even gayer than Jesus and Judas, who incidentally I only think are gay because my foundational knowledge of the gospels comes from Jesus Christ Superstar. But these two don't even need an excellent movie musical for me to suspect that they swing the other way. Just bear with me. You'll see.
David is such a badass soldier that he quickly rises to a place of authority in Saul's army and becomes incredibly popular with the people. After a battle, Saul overhears the crowds singing in the street: "Saul struck down thousands / but David tens of thousands" (1 Sam 18:7) and this totally wigs him out. He becomes seized by an evil spirit (1 Sam 18:10) and spends the next few chapters trying to kill David out of jealousy. When his traditional attempts (throwing spears at David, trying to stab David, etc) fail, he devises some clever plans. For instance, he allows David to marry his younger daughter Michal for a dowry of "the foreskins of a hundred Philistines" (18:25), hoping that David will die in battle -- but of course he doesn't, and Saul becomes more impassioned and crazy about his hatred for the lad.
Saul tries to get Jonathan to help him kill David, but Jonathan is feverishly devoted to his pal and forewarns him. Michal thwarts yet another murder attempt by allowing David to escape from their bedroom window in the night, but unlike Jonathan, who openly declares his allegiance, Michal lies like a little bitch when confronted: "He said to me, 'Help me escape or I shall kill you'" (1 Sam 19:17). No he didn't! Shut up, Michal! Also, you have a boy's name!
In chapter 20, David sees that the situation with Saul is not going to improve and devises a plan of escape with Jonathan's help. Jonathan is at first shocked that his father is going to these lengths to kill David, but makes his loyalties clear, "pledg[ing] himself afresh to David because of his love for him, for he loved him as himself" (1 Sam 20:17). They arrange for David to hide in the fields for a few days until Saul notices his absence. When the king inquires about David's whereabouts, Jonathan says that he has returned home for a few days; by Saul's reaction, Jonathan will be able to gauge what his plans are. Predictably, Saul explodes with anger upon this news, since he had plotted to kill David and suspects that Jonathan is helping him. "You son of a crooked and rebellious mother!" he exclaims. "I know perfectly well you have made a friend of the son of Jesse only to bring same on yourself and dishonor on your mother" (1 Sam 20:30). In other words, Saul is pissed that his son is GAY.
After this outburst, Jonathan goes into the fields to tell David to escape. The two men "kiss one another and shed tears together" (1 Sam 20:41), then David takes off for the wilderness.
Chapter 21 details David's escape, wherein he tricks a priest into giving him bread, and meets the king of Gath. The king recognizes him, so he escapes by pretending to be mad, "scrabbling on the double doors of the city gate and dribbling down his beard" (1 Sam 21:13). The king is sufficiently convinced and lets him go.
In chapter 22, David's badassery becomes even more pronounced as he becomes an outlaw captain in the Judean wilderness! How freaking COOL! Meanwhile, Saul realizes that David has escaped, and kills the priest who gave him the bread, as well as eighty-five other priests and their families. What a jerk.
By chapter 23, another conflict arises with the Philistines, and David asks God what he should do. God tells him to fight, so he gathers up his outlaw gang and heads off to Keilah, the town being invaded. His small army overcomes the Philistine forces, but when Saul gets wind of David's location, he sends his army after the young future king. David is forced to escape once again, hiding out in the wilderness.
David takes refuge in a cave, but Saul continues searching for him. In chapter 24, the men finally confront each other when Saul unknowingly enters David's cave to "relieve himself" (1 Sam 24:3). David's men urge him to kill Saul, but David refuses to lay a hand on "the Lord's anointed" (1 Sam 24:7) and simply cuts off a piece of Saul's cloak. Then he runs out of the cave and bows down to his enemy, explaining emotionally that although he could have killed Saul in the cave, he did not, because he never meant Saul harm. Saul responds with equal emotion, proclaiming, "The right is on your side, not mine; you have treated me so well; I have treated you so badly" (1 Sam 24:17). He goes on to say that David will certainly become king of Israel, and David swears an oath to Saul.
Hooray! Everyone is friends again! I will leave things here for today. I hope you are enjoying this story as much as I am. See you tomorrow, when we wrap up the first book of Samuel and will hopefully see more exciting, crazy, and somewhat gay adventures.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Day 23, 1 Samuel 3-14
Today's reading takes us deeper into the first book of Samuel, where we follow the exploits of the title prophet as well as Saul, the first king of Israel. So far, this book isn't necessarily funny, but I found it nonetheless interesting; the stories told were compelling, and through 1 Samuel we learn a lot about Israel's early relationship with human kings, and how surprisingly controversial the idea was.
Chapter 3 opens with a fun little tale in which the boy Samuel is called to his role as a prophet. While he sleeps in the temple, he is woken by a voice calling his name. This happens three times, and each time he assumes it's Eli and runs to the priest, asking what he wants. After the third time, Eli catches on that God is calling Samuel, and tells him to say, "Speak, Lord; your servant is listening" (1 Sam 3:9). Samuel complies and receives his first message from God, who essentially says that Eli and his family are crappy priests and that "their abuse of sacrifices and offerings will never be expiated" (1 Sam 3:14). Oh dear! In the morning, Samuel rather uncomfortably relates this message to Eli, who sadly accepts his fate.
1 Samuel is marked by conflicts with the Philistines, the first of which we see in chapter 4. Here I must also correct an error I made in yesterday's entry; I said that Eli's sons, Hophni and Phinehas, were smote down by God when they messed up a sacrifice, but actually their deaths were just forewarned. They partake in chapter 4's unsuccessful fight against the Philistine army and are both killed. Not only do thirty thousand Israelite soldiers die in the battle, but the Ark of the Covenant is also taken by the enemy. As you can imagine, this is a huge blow to Israeli morale, and when Eli hears the news that his sons have been killed and the Ark has been taken, he "[falls] backwards from his seat by the gate and [breaks] his neck" (1 Sam 4:18). Soon after, Phinehas's widow goes into labor. She names her son Ichabod, which translates to "No glory" and then dies.
How depressing!
Chapters 5 and 6 depart from the tale of Samuel and focus on the Philistines, who have just captured the Ark of God. They set it up in one of their cities, Ashdod, but it brings nothing but chaos and misfortune to the Philistine people; they are "plagued...with tumors, and their territory swarm[s] with rats" (1 Sam 5:6). Gross! In chapter 6 they resolve to return the Ark and build "five tumors modeled in gold and five gold rats, each one for each of the Philistine lords" (1 Sam 6:4). Gold tumors? Well gee, I'd sure forgive them after that! Gold tumors! Wow!
So the Israelites get their Ark back. Hooray! In chapter 7, Samuel makes a little speech to the people and assumes his role as a judge, causing peace and prosperity to return to the people. They recover their land from the Philistine forces and maintain peace with the Ammonites as well during Samuel's reign.
In chapter 8, the people petition Samuel for a king. God is super annoyed about this, telling Samuel "they have not rejected you, it is I whom they have rejected, I whom they will not have to be their king" (1 Sam 8:6). Here we see one of the first instances of tension between the ideas of human kingship and divine kingship, which will reoccur often in the bible. Samuel describes the risks of a human king to the people: "He will take your daughters for perfumers, cooks, and bakers. He will seize the best of your fields, vineyards, and olive groves, and give them to his courtiers. He will take a tenth of your grain and your vintage to give to his eunuchs and courtiers" (1 Sam 8:14-15). In other words, a human king has a potential for corruption that God does not. But the people persist, and God eventually complies with their will and resolves to appoint a king.
Chapter 9 introduces us to our dapper young prince-to-be, a "man in his prime" (1 Sam 9:2) named Saul. One day Saul's family's donkey goes missing, so he ventures off with one of his servants to look for it. When they do not succeed, the pair decide to visit Samuel, a known prophet, to ask where the donkey is.
When Saul approaches Samuel, God says, "This is the man who will govern my people" (1 Sam 9:17). Samuel relates the message to Saul, who is at first hesitant, persisting, "But I am a Benjamite...from the smallest of the tribes of Israel, and my family is the least important of all the families of the tribe" (1 Sam 9:21). In other words, he's from a loser family! How can he be king?
Sam explains that, well, he just is, and in chapter 10 Saul is anointed in secret. He returns home and tells his father that the donkey is okay, but neglects to mention his whole appointment to the kingship because he's just SO DARN MODEST. This modesty is demonstrated further when later in the chapter, as Samuel presents him to the tribes of Israel, he runs away and hides "among the baggage" (1 Sam 10:22). Okay Saul. We get that you're humble, but isn't this a little much?
In chapter 11, the conflict with the Philistines resumes. One of the kings, a fellow named Nahesh, captures a region of Israel called Jabesh and demands that he be allowed to "gouge out the right eye of every one of you [the Israelites] and bring disgrace on all of Israel" (1 Sam 11:2). That's pretty gross! The Jews ask for seven days to decide if they want to comply with this, during which time Saul gets wind of what's going on and angrily chops up an oxen, which he sends throughout Israel. First a concubine, now an oxen! People really liked to send dismantled body parts in the mail back then! Anyway, the oxen bits symbolize what will "be done to the oxen of any man who [does] not follow Saul and Samuel to battle" (1 Sam 11:7). They proceed with the fight and reign victorious over the Philistines!
Chapter 12 comprises a nice little goodbye speech from Samuel, who is very old and is preparing to die. His speech is a lot like those of Moses, Joshua, and other leaders who have made them; he recounts recent events and urges the people to follow God faithfully. The one difference is that here, he emphasizes the king's subordinance to God, and cautions that "if you persist in wickedness, both you and your king will be swept away" (1 Sam 12:25)
Chapter 13 details more exploits against the Philistines, or as we might shorten it, the Phillies. At the beginning of this chapter, the Jew Crew is once again in dire straights at the hands of the Fightin' Phils, so Saul disobeys some vague rule of Samuel's and presents a whole-offering to God. When Samuel finds out about this (even though I thought he was supposed to die after chapter 12!) he freaks out and reprimands Saul: "You have not kept the command laid on you by the Lord your God; if you had he would have established your dynasty over Israel for all time. But now your line will not endure; the Lord will seek out a man after his own heart, and appoint him prince over his people, because you have not kept the Lord's command" (1 Sam 13:13-14). If you were confused like me, the footnotes let us know not to fret; apparently, this is a later addition, included to support David's legitimacy as king. That's why Saul's offense seems so arbitrary.
Chapter 14 continues the battle tale, focusing on Saul's son, Jonathan. One note of interest is that Phinehas's son, Ichabod, is said to have a brother. How does he have a brother if both his parents died right after he was born?! That's whack!
Anyway, Jonathan decides to sneak down the Philistine camp with his armor-bearer. They wind up getting into a little scuffle, which turns into a big old battle. Back at camp, Saul instructs his troops to fast, but because Jonathan is already fighting he doesn't hear the message, and eats some honeycomb while he's walking through a field. When Saul finds out, he is prepared to kill Jonathan, but the men come to the lad's defense: "Shall Jonathan die, Jonathan who has won this great victory in Israel? God forbid!" (1 Sam 14:44). So Saul's son is spared. The chapter ends by mentioning a few of Saul's military conquests, and stating that "there was bitter warfare with the Philistines throughout Saul's lifetime" (14:52). In other words, these boring battles aren't going to end so you better get used to them!
More Samuel tomorrow. I'm thinking we might get to meet David soon. How exciting!
Chapter 3 opens with a fun little tale in which the boy Samuel is called to his role as a prophet. While he sleeps in the temple, he is woken by a voice calling his name. This happens three times, and each time he assumes it's Eli and runs to the priest, asking what he wants. After the third time, Eli catches on that God is calling Samuel, and tells him to say, "Speak, Lord; your servant is listening" (1 Sam 3:9). Samuel complies and receives his first message from God, who essentially says that Eli and his family are crappy priests and that "their abuse of sacrifices and offerings will never be expiated" (1 Sam 3:14). Oh dear! In the morning, Samuel rather uncomfortably relates this message to Eli, who sadly accepts his fate.
1 Samuel is marked by conflicts with the Philistines, the first of which we see in chapter 4. Here I must also correct an error I made in yesterday's entry; I said that Eli's sons, Hophni and Phinehas, were smote down by God when they messed up a sacrifice, but actually their deaths were just forewarned. They partake in chapter 4's unsuccessful fight against the Philistine army and are both killed. Not only do thirty thousand Israelite soldiers die in the battle, but the Ark of the Covenant is also taken by the enemy. As you can imagine, this is a huge blow to Israeli morale, and when Eli hears the news that his sons have been killed and the Ark has been taken, he "[falls] backwards from his seat by the gate and [breaks] his neck" (1 Sam 4:18). Soon after, Phinehas's widow goes into labor. She names her son Ichabod, which translates to "No glory" and then dies.
How depressing!
Chapters 5 and 6 depart from the tale of Samuel and focus on the Philistines, who have just captured the Ark of God. They set it up in one of their cities, Ashdod, but it brings nothing but chaos and misfortune to the Philistine people; they are "plagued...with tumors, and their territory swarm[s] with rats" (1 Sam 5:6). Gross! In chapter 6 they resolve to return the Ark and build "five tumors modeled in gold and five gold rats, each one for each of the Philistine lords" (1 Sam 6:4). Gold tumors? Well gee, I'd sure forgive them after that! Gold tumors! Wow!
So the Israelites get their Ark back. Hooray! In chapter 7, Samuel makes a little speech to the people and assumes his role as a judge, causing peace and prosperity to return to the people. They recover their land from the Philistine forces and maintain peace with the Ammonites as well during Samuel's reign.
In chapter 8, the people petition Samuel for a king. God is super annoyed about this, telling Samuel "they have not rejected you, it is I whom they have rejected, I whom they will not have to be their king" (1 Sam 8:6). Here we see one of the first instances of tension between the ideas of human kingship and divine kingship, which will reoccur often in the bible. Samuel describes the risks of a human king to the people: "He will take your daughters for perfumers, cooks, and bakers. He will seize the best of your fields, vineyards, and olive groves, and give them to his courtiers. He will take a tenth of your grain and your vintage to give to his eunuchs and courtiers" (1 Sam 8:14-15). In other words, a human king has a potential for corruption that God does not. But the people persist, and God eventually complies with their will and resolves to appoint a king.
Chapter 9 introduces us to our dapper young prince-to-be, a "man in his prime" (1 Sam 9:2) named Saul. One day Saul's family's donkey goes missing, so he ventures off with one of his servants to look for it. When they do not succeed, the pair decide to visit Samuel, a known prophet, to ask where the donkey is.
When Saul approaches Samuel, God says, "This is the man who will govern my people" (1 Sam 9:17). Samuel relates the message to Saul, who is at first hesitant, persisting, "But I am a Benjamite...from the smallest of the tribes of Israel, and my family is the least important of all the families of the tribe" (1 Sam 9:21). In other words, he's from a loser family! How can he be king?
Sam explains that, well, he just is, and in chapter 10 Saul is anointed in secret. He returns home and tells his father that the donkey is okay, but neglects to mention his whole appointment to the kingship because he's just SO DARN MODEST. This modesty is demonstrated further when later in the chapter, as Samuel presents him to the tribes of Israel, he runs away and hides "among the baggage" (1 Sam 10:22). Okay Saul. We get that you're humble, but isn't this a little much?
In chapter 11, the conflict with the Philistines resumes. One of the kings, a fellow named Nahesh, captures a region of Israel called Jabesh and demands that he be allowed to "gouge out the right eye of every one of you [the Israelites] and bring disgrace on all of Israel" (1 Sam 11:2). That's pretty gross! The Jews ask for seven days to decide if they want to comply with this, during which time Saul gets wind of what's going on and angrily chops up an oxen, which he sends throughout Israel. First a concubine, now an oxen! People really liked to send dismantled body parts in the mail back then! Anyway, the oxen bits symbolize what will "be done to the oxen of any man who [does] not follow Saul and Samuel to battle" (1 Sam 11:7). They proceed with the fight and reign victorious over the Philistines!
Chapter 12 comprises a nice little goodbye speech from Samuel, who is very old and is preparing to die. His speech is a lot like those of Moses, Joshua, and other leaders who have made them; he recounts recent events and urges the people to follow God faithfully. The one difference is that here, he emphasizes the king's subordinance to God, and cautions that "if you persist in wickedness, both you and your king will be swept away" (1 Sam 12:25)
Chapter 13 details more exploits against the Philistines, or as we might shorten it, the Phillies. At the beginning of this chapter, the Jew Crew is once again in dire straights at the hands of the Fightin' Phils, so Saul disobeys some vague rule of Samuel's and presents a whole-offering to God. When Samuel finds out about this (even though I thought he was supposed to die after chapter 12!) he freaks out and reprimands Saul: "You have not kept the command laid on you by the Lord your God; if you had he would have established your dynasty over Israel for all time. But now your line will not endure; the Lord will seek out a man after his own heart, and appoint him prince over his people, because you have not kept the Lord's command" (1 Sam 13:13-14). If you were confused like me, the footnotes let us know not to fret; apparently, this is a later addition, included to support David's legitimacy as king. That's why Saul's offense seems so arbitrary.
Chapter 14 continues the battle tale, focusing on Saul's son, Jonathan. One note of interest is that Phinehas's son, Ichabod, is said to have a brother. How does he have a brother if both his parents died right after he was born?! That's whack!
Anyway, Jonathan decides to sneak down the Philistine camp with his armor-bearer. They wind up getting into a little scuffle, which turns into a big old battle. Back at camp, Saul instructs his troops to fast, but because Jonathan is already fighting he doesn't hear the message, and eats some honeycomb while he's walking through a field. When Saul finds out, he is prepared to kill Jonathan, but the men come to the lad's defense: "Shall Jonathan die, Jonathan who has won this great victory in Israel? God forbid!" (1 Sam 14:44). So Saul's son is spared. The chapter ends by mentioning a few of Saul's military conquests, and stating that "there was bitter warfare with the Philistines throughout Saul's lifetime" (14:52). In other words, these boring battles aren't going to end so you better get used to them!
More Samuel tomorrow. I'm thinking we might get to meet David soon. How exciting!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Day 22, Judges 17-21, Ruth 1-4, 1 Samuel 1-2
There is a lot to cover today! Thankfully I am once again well-rested and enthused about the task at hand. Woohoo! The bible is so much fun!
The last five chapters of Judges are considered an epilogue, since they don't actually feature a specific judge. Chapter 17 opens with the tale of a young man named Micah, who steals eleven hundred pieces of silver from his mother. When she confronts him, he returns the money and uses it "to make a carved image and a cast idol" (Judges 17:3). I could have sworn this was totally against the rules, but Micah doesn't seem to suffer any divine retribution; to the contrary, he appoints one of his own sons to be a priest, and later in the chapter invites a Levite to come live with him, saying, "Now I know that the Lord will make me prosper, because I have a Levite as my priest" (Judges 17:13).
The intent of these chapters seems to be to illustrate how lost and pathetic the Israelites are without human leadership. Over and over again, it is repeated "in those days there was no king in Israel and everyone did what was right in his own eyes" (Judges 17:6).
I profess I had a bit of trouble making heads or tails of this strange saga, so I apologize if my summary is a bit hazy. In chapter 18, representatives from the tribe of Dan arrive at Micah's house; they are scouting out land to colonize, since they have somehow lost their tribal holding. After a brief discussion with the Levite priest about how he wound up living there, they continue onward and discover a demilitarized region called Laish, where the people are "quiet and carefree with nothing lacking in their country" (Judges 18:7). They decide to seize the land for themselves, and after reporting back to the rest of the tribe, make a return trip to begin the siege. On the way they stop at Micah's house, steal his altar, and convince the Levite priest to join them. Micah tries to stop them but is unsuccessful, and the Danites wind up killing off all the natives and inhabiting the area, setting up a shrine at Shiloh.
In chapter 19, the anarchy of the king-less Israel continues. Our new tale concerns a Levite priest, who takes up with a concubine and spends the beginning of the chapter being graciously hosted by her father for about a week. Actually, he kind of refuses to let the priest leave, but he has no fishy motives; he is just a nice guy and wants to give his daughter's boyfriend a lot of yummy food. Finally, the Levite and his gal-pal take off. They wind up at the Benjamite town of Gibeah around sunset, but are unable to find a place to stay. Finally, a nice old Ephraimite man welcomes them into his home, but soon after their arrival, "some of the most depraved scoundrels in the town [surround] the house, beating the door violently and shouting to the old man whose house it was, 'Bring out the man who has come to your house, for us to have intercourse with him'" (Judges 19:22). Whoa! Didn't this already happen way back in Genesis? Like Lot in Sodom, the old man offers up his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine, but rather unlike Lot, the priest responds to the rowdy men by throwing his concubine outside, where the men "[rape] and [abuse] her all night till the morning" (Judges 19:25). Oh geez. When the priest wakes up, he discovers her dead on the doorstep, so he -- get this -- CHOPS HER UP INTO LITTLE PIECES AND MAILS THEM TO ALL THE TRIBES. When they all receive their chunk of dead concubine, it becomes clear to everyone that Israel is corrupt.
In chapter 20, the tribes have a pow-wow and decide that the Benjamites must be punished. They wage war against their fellow tribe, killing off all the women and most of the men and setting all the towns on fire. They also make an oath that none of them will give their daughters in marriage to the Benjamites, but subsequently become concerned that the tribe will die out. They solve this problem in two ways. First, they notice that no one from the region of Jabesh-gilead had come to the meeting. They decide to "put to death every male person [from the region], and every woman who has had intercourse with a man, but spare any who are virgins" (Judges 21:11). However, there are still not enough wives for the surviving Benjamites, so they instruct the eligible bachelors to go to Shiloh during the yearly pilgrimages there and "hide in the vineyards...and when the girls of Shiloh come out to take part in the dance, come from the vineyards, and each of you seize one of them for his wife" (Judges 21:20-21). In other words, if you can't get a wife normally, just kidnap one! It's all okay!
The Book of Judges ends with the old refrain: "In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes."
Indeed!
The Book of Ruth is a short one, only four chapters. It concerns a Moabite woman who travels to Israel with her mother-in-law, converts to Judaism, and eventually becomes the great-grandmother of David. I remember watching a claymation movie version of this story back in my Hebrew School days. The filmmakers were trying to pass it off as a love story, but it always seemed sort of eerie and depressing to me. I will provide a brief summary.
Our tale kicks off with a Judahite family forced to relocate to Moab land due to a famine. The husband dies, and his two sons die about ten years after, leaving behind three widows: Naomi and her daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth. Incidentally, Oprah's name was originally intended to be Orpah, but the doctors spelled it wrong. At least, I've heard that story. I don't know why you would ever name your kid Orpah anyway, because it's not like she has any significance whatsoever in the bible!
Naomi decides to go back to Judah, and bids her daughters-in-law to stay behind with their families in Moab. Orpah consents, but Ruth is a big fan of her mother-in-law and insists on going, saying that "Your people will be my people, and your God my God" (Ruth 1:16).
When they arrive back in the holy land, they are initially pretty poor and Ruth sets off to glean from the fields. She winds up gleaning from the land of a semi-distant relative named Boaz, who is a solid guy and treats her with utmost kindness. Because of his familial tie to Naomi, he is eligible to fulfill the terms of the Levirite marriage, and the two eventually shack up. The book ends with a brief genealogy, notable mostly because it lists Boaz's father as a man named Salmon. HAHAH LIKE THE FISH!!! THAT'S FUNNY!
Today's reading ends with two chapters of 1 Samuel, the first in a series of four books that will keep us busy for some time. Samuel, along with Kings, were combined into one work in the ancient Greek Bible entitled "Concerning the Kingdoms." I'm not exactly sure what these books will contain, but I know we'll be meeting David, Solomon, Saul, and all those other cool kings you learned about in religious school. Awesome!
The first two chapters concern the birth and childhood of Samuel, who I think must be some kind of prophet. One of our favorite tropes from Genesis returns, because Samuel's father, Elkanah, has two wives, and the one he loves the most -- Hannah -- is barren. Peninnah, the unloved wife, gives Hannah such a hard time that she becomes super depressed, crying and moping all the time. When the family makes a pilgrimage to Shiloh, she stands in the temple and prays for a son, swearing that she will "give the child to the Lord for the whole of his life, and no razor shall ever touch his head" (1 Sam 1:11). The priest, a fellow named Eli, sees her mouthing the words of her prayer and for some reason assumes she is drunk. "Enough of this drunken behavior!" he says to her (1 Sam 11:13), causing her to explain her situation. Eli comforts her and sends her on her way, and that night she conceives a son, Samuel. Once he is weaned, she takes him to Shiloh to offer a lengthy prayer of thanks to God, then leaves him with the priests and returns home.
Eli's sons are described as "scoundrels with little regard for the Lord" (1 Sam 2:12) who "lay with the women who [serve] at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting" (1 Sam 2:22). Eli reprimands his sons, but he is unable to make a dent, and after they completely botch an offering to God, he smites 'em down. God declares that he will "appoint for [himself] a priest who will be faithful, who will do what [he] ha[s] in [his] mind and in [his] heart" (1 Sam 2:35). The door is open for Samuel!
That's it for today. Tune in tomorrow for more of this exciting saga.
The last five chapters of Judges are considered an epilogue, since they don't actually feature a specific judge. Chapter 17 opens with the tale of a young man named Micah, who steals eleven hundred pieces of silver from his mother. When she confronts him, he returns the money and uses it "to make a carved image and a cast idol" (Judges 17:3). I could have sworn this was totally against the rules, but Micah doesn't seem to suffer any divine retribution; to the contrary, he appoints one of his own sons to be a priest, and later in the chapter invites a Levite to come live with him, saying, "Now I know that the Lord will make me prosper, because I have a Levite as my priest" (Judges 17:13).
The intent of these chapters seems to be to illustrate how lost and pathetic the Israelites are without human leadership. Over and over again, it is repeated "in those days there was no king in Israel and everyone did what was right in his own eyes" (Judges 17:6).
I profess I had a bit of trouble making heads or tails of this strange saga, so I apologize if my summary is a bit hazy. In chapter 18, representatives from the tribe of Dan arrive at Micah's house; they are scouting out land to colonize, since they have somehow lost their tribal holding. After a brief discussion with the Levite priest about how he wound up living there, they continue onward and discover a demilitarized region called Laish, where the people are "quiet and carefree with nothing lacking in their country" (Judges 18:7). They decide to seize the land for themselves, and after reporting back to the rest of the tribe, make a return trip to begin the siege. On the way they stop at Micah's house, steal his altar, and convince the Levite priest to join them. Micah tries to stop them but is unsuccessful, and the Danites wind up killing off all the natives and inhabiting the area, setting up a shrine at Shiloh.
In chapter 19, the anarchy of the king-less Israel continues. Our new tale concerns a Levite priest, who takes up with a concubine and spends the beginning of the chapter being graciously hosted by her father for about a week. Actually, he kind of refuses to let the priest leave, but he has no fishy motives; he is just a nice guy and wants to give his daughter's boyfriend a lot of yummy food. Finally, the Levite and his gal-pal take off. They wind up at the Benjamite town of Gibeah around sunset, but are unable to find a place to stay. Finally, a nice old Ephraimite man welcomes them into his home, but soon after their arrival, "some of the most depraved scoundrels in the town [surround] the house, beating the door violently and shouting to the old man whose house it was, 'Bring out the man who has come to your house, for us to have intercourse with him'" (Judges 19:22). Whoa! Didn't this already happen way back in Genesis? Like Lot in Sodom, the old man offers up his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine, but rather unlike Lot, the priest responds to the rowdy men by throwing his concubine outside, where the men "[rape] and [abuse] her all night till the morning" (Judges 19:25). Oh geez. When the priest wakes up, he discovers her dead on the doorstep, so he -- get this -- CHOPS HER UP INTO LITTLE PIECES AND MAILS THEM TO ALL THE TRIBES. When they all receive their chunk of dead concubine, it becomes clear to everyone that Israel is corrupt.
In chapter 20, the tribes have a pow-wow and decide that the Benjamites must be punished. They wage war against their fellow tribe, killing off all the women and most of the men and setting all the towns on fire. They also make an oath that none of them will give their daughters in marriage to the Benjamites, but subsequently become concerned that the tribe will die out. They solve this problem in two ways. First, they notice that no one from the region of Jabesh-gilead had come to the meeting. They decide to "put to death every male person [from the region], and every woman who has had intercourse with a man, but spare any who are virgins" (Judges 21:11). However, there are still not enough wives for the surviving Benjamites, so they instruct the eligible bachelors to go to Shiloh during the yearly pilgrimages there and "hide in the vineyards...and when the girls of Shiloh come out to take part in the dance, come from the vineyards, and each of you seize one of them for his wife" (Judges 21:20-21). In other words, if you can't get a wife normally, just kidnap one! It's all okay!
The Book of Judges ends with the old refrain: "In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes."
Indeed!
The Book of Ruth is a short one, only four chapters. It concerns a Moabite woman who travels to Israel with her mother-in-law, converts to Judaism, and eventually becomes the great-grandmother of David. I remember watching a claymation movie version of this story back in my Hebrew School days. The filmmakers were trying to pass it off as a love story, but it always seemed sort of eerie and depressing to me. I will provide a brief summary.
Our tale kicks off with a Judahite family forced to relocate to Moab land due to a famine. The husband dies, and his two sons die about ten years after, leaving behind three widows: Naomi and her daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth. Incidentally, Oprah's name was originally intended to be Orpah, but the doctors spelled it wrong. At least, I've heard that story. I don't know why you would ever name your kid Orpah anyway, because it's not like she has any significance whatsoever in the bible!
Naomi decides to go back to Judah, and bids her daughters-in-law to stay behind with their families in Moab. Orpah consents, but Ruth is a big fan of her mother-in-law and insists on going, saying that "Your people will be my people, and your God my God" (Ruth 1:16).
When they arrive back in the holy land, they are initially pretty poor and Ruth sets off to glean from the fields. She winds up gleaning from the land of a semi-distant relative named Boaz, who is a solid guy and treats her with utmost kindness. Because of his familial tie to Naomi, he is eligible to fulfill the terms of the Levirite marriage, and the two eventually shack up. The book ends with a brief genealogy, notable mostly because it lists Boaz's father as a man named Salmon. HAHAH LIKE THE FISH!!! THAT'S FUNNY!
Today's reading ends with two chapters of 1 Samuel, the first in a series of four books that will keep us busy for some time. Samuel, along with Kings, were combined into one work in the ancient Greek Bible entitled "Concerning the Kingdoms." I'm not exactly sure what these books will contain, but I know we'll be meeting David, Solomon, Saul, and all those other cool kings you learned about in religious school. Awesome!
The first two chapters concern the birth and childhood of Samuel, who I think must be some kind of prophet. One of our favorite tropes from Genesis returns, because Samuel's father, Elkanah, has two wives, and the one he loves the most -- Hannah -- is barren. Peninnah, the unloved wife, gives Hannah such a hard time that she becomes super depressed, crying and moping all the time. When the family makes a pilgrimage to Shiloh, she stands in the temple and prays for a son, swearing that she will "give the child to the Lord for the whole of his life, and no razor shall ever touch his head" (1 Sam 1:11). The priest, a fellow named Eli, sees her mouthing the words of her prayer and for some reason assumes she is drunk. "Enough of this drunken behavior!" he says to her (1 Sam 11:13), causing her to explain her situation. Eli comforts her and sends her on her way, and that night she conceives a son, Samuel. Once he is weaned, she takes him to Shiloh to offer a lengthy prayer of thanks to God, then leaves him with the priests and returns home.
Eli's sons are described as "scoundrels with little regard for the Lord" (1 Sam 2:12) who "lay with the women who [serve] at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting" (1 Sam 2:22). Eli reprimands his sons, but he is unable to make a dent, and after they completely botch an offering to God, he smites 'em down. God declares that he will "appoint for [himself] a priest who will be faithful, who will do what [he] ha[s] in [his] mind and in [his] heart" (1 Sam 2:35). The door is open for Samuel!
That's it for today. Tune in tomorrow for more of this exciting saga.
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