Whereas in my early days of bible blogging I was youthful and enthusiastic, absorbing verses at the speed of light and delighting in any reference to sexual deviance or weird violence, now I feel that I'm just going through the motions. The joy is gone. It takes me twice as long to read these passages because I get distracted doing dumb stuff, like looking at pictures of puppies and kittens together.
OMG!!!!
Anyway, Corinthians... Corinthians... Right.
In chapter 10, Paul talks about how you shouldn't pray to idols. WOW, THAT'S REALLY FUCKING ORIGINAL, PAUL! I DON'T THINK I'VE HEARD THAT ONCE IN THE ENTIRE BIBLE! THANKS FOR CLUING ME IN... ASSHOLE!!!!!!
After that enlightening interlude, we get more stuff about the subordination of women. The passage in question is kind of weird, which is always a good thing: "I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven" (1 Corinthians 10:3-4). So basically, men should never wear hats, and women should always wear hats. He also goes on to say that men should keep their hair short and women should keep their hair long.
But... I was gonna flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair!!!!! Oh well.
Paul also explains the Eucharist here, which is old hat for us contemporary bible scholars, but chronologically this is actually the first surviving reference to the ritual. His version of the rite is more reminiscent of Luke's version, not that any synoptic tradition about the Last Supper is particularly deviant.
Paul goes on to talk about spiritual gifts, emphasizing that all otherworldly powers are given by God, and then in chapter 13 we get a nice little sermon on LOVE that is so pleasant it actually made me sort of like reading the bible again, for about ten seconds. You know it: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude... Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). I'm sure you've heard some of this before, and if you haven't, it's short so read it yourself! It'll be worth it!
After that sweet little passage, Paul goes back to being boring as fuck and talks about how to prophesy is better than to speak in tongues, since everyone can understand prophecy but no one is going to know what you're saying about if you're speaking in tongues. He also re-expresses his enlightened view of women by saying, "the woman should keep silent in the churches... for they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission" (1 Corinthians 14:34). Well. You're a regular Susan B. Anthony, aren't you, Paul?!!
In chapter 15, Paul addresses a troubling logical gap in his ministry's teaching: "If there is no resurrection of the dead," he says, "then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain" (1 Corinthians 15:13-14). Ooh. That's a tough one! Paul remedies the situation by explaining that OBVIOUSLY resurrection is real because Jesus rose from the dead and so how can you not believe in it? Wait a minute... What'd he do there?
My doubts are sure assuaged!!!
Paul also totally rips of J.K. Rowling, telling the Corinthians that "The last enemy to be destroyed is death" (1 Corinthians 15:26). As you may remember, this was inscribed on the grave of Lily and James Potter in Godric's Hollow.
After ALL THIS FUN, Paul bids farewell to his Greek friends and the letter ends! Time for letter #2!
So, a bit of background. From what I can gather, Paul wrote his first letter from Ephesus, a Turkish city, after visiting Corinth for the first time. He goes back to visit again and has a not-so-pleasant trip; there was a baby crying next to him on the airplane, he got food poisoning at a Corinthian deli, and a homeless man spit on his shoes. It was just a real disappointment. Anyway, after that he wrote a pretty pissed off letter to the Corinthian people, which has since been lost. And since time heals all wounds, Paul eventually penned 2 Corinthians, expressing his desire to return to the city for a third visit.
Probably because I'm bored to death of reading the bible, I didn't find a lot of interesting material in 2 Corinthians. Paul is basically reiterating stuff he's already said, defending his own actions as an apostle, and at the same time reassuring the Corinthians that he still thinks they're nice. Big themes are -- once again -- the separation of the spirit from the body, and the importance of faith.
One passage I particularly enjoyed was in chapter 7; Paul seems mildly apologetic about his earlier anger, but justifies his actions by saying "even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it... I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting" (2 Corinthians 7:8-9).
Is this the origin of Catholic guilt?!
Gee whiz! Well, more tomorrow. We've got another week of this. Hot dog.
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