Monday, December 5, 2011

Day 86, Philippians, Colossians, 1 & 2 Thessalonians

Sometimes I wonder if I am really doing such a good job with these bible readings. It's obvious that my initial enthusiasm has progressively waned, but lately I feel like I'm just skimming, uninterested, perking up from my stupor only when I see a reference to sex or violence.

In fairness, Paul's letters are all the freakin' same. I sense that there are things I could be focusing on -- like, for instance, what these letters suggest about Paul's character, or how exactly his proselytizing was perceived by his hosts -- but at this point I am too exhausted to care very much. I might liken this experience to my first time reading The Sound and the Fury; yeah, I got that Caddy smelled like trees, and I got that Quentin had some serious issues with someone named Dalton Ames, but it took a few reads before the depth and scope of the work finally sunk in. Perhaps it is the same with the bible.

Was referencing Faulkner really fucking pretentious? I will use a different metaphor: it was sort of like listening to Rock and Roll All Nite by KISS for the first time. Sure, I knew that Gene wanted to rock and roll all night, but did he want to party every day, or PART OF every day? It took a few listens before the depth and scope of the work finally sunk in.

Anyway, we've got four letters from our dear friend Paul, so let's not waste any more time! First up is the letter to the Philippians, a Macedonian community of whom Paul was very fond. It was probably composed at around 56 CE and contains pretty standard Pauline doctrine. Of the Gentiles, Paul sneers, "Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things" (Philippians 3:19). He urges the people to be humble and generally mild-mannered and God-fearing, as per usual.

Next is Paul's letter to the Colossians, which may or may not have been actually written by Paul. It dates to around 62 CE and deals thematically with the preeminence of Christ over other deities. Paul warns of false prophets, saying, "Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up and without reason by his sensuous mind" (Colossians 2:18). He talks about other stuff too. It's all very fascinating, as I'm sure you can imagine.

1 Thessalonians was written during Paul's second missionary journey; dating back to around 51 CE, we can deduce that this was possibly Paul's first epistle. Here he talks about the future coming of Christ -- referred to as the "Parousia" in my study bible, what a neat word!! Spellcheck wants to change it to "oviparous," a word that refers to egg-laying animals such as platypuses and chickens.

Anyway, Paul tells us that "the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night... So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober" (1 Thessalonians 5:2-6). Staying up all night and being sober, it'll be just like my slumber party birthday in first grade... except it'll go on FOREVER! I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!!

2 Thessalonians continues on a similar note, talking about judgment day: "[Nonbelievers] will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might," the author writes (2 Thessalonians 1:9). Tough cookies!

The authenticity of 2 Thessalonians is apparently disputed, on the grounds that Paul's opinion on when Judgment Day is coming differs between the two works. Whereas in the first letter he seemed convinced that it was quickly approaching, telling us to NEVER SLEEP AGAIN, here he speaks against this idea: "[Do] not be quickly shaken in mind or alarmed, either by a spirit or a spoken word, or a letter seeming to be from us, to the effect that the day of the Lord has come" (2 Thessalonians 2:2).

It is of course possible that Paul just changed his mind between the letters. Maybe he decided that NOT SLEEPING FOREVER was a little too difficult and decided to alter his approach to these matters!

That's it for today. TL;DR (that's, "Too Long, Didn't Read" for you non-internet dorks), I will provide a condensed version of Paul's letters.

Paul's Letters: The Condensed Version

HAHAHA I'M PAUL!!! I USED TO BE A PHARISAIC JERK BUT I CHANGED MY NAME AND NOW I LOVE JESUS! YOU SHOULD LOVE JESUS TOO! CLICK THIS BOX IF YOU WANT TO JOIN OUR MAILING LIST!

CHRISTIANS 4EVER WOO HOO!!!

1 comment:

  1. Wow, nearly there. I am hugely impressed by your dedication, and ability to be funny over a ninety day stretch (well, I say ninety days, you may be rubbish tomorrow...)

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