Good morning everyone! Today's reading takes us to the end of Leviticus and into Numbers, the fourth book of the Torah. From what I can tell, Numbers looks like it's going to be a little more story-oriented than Leviticus, which is always fun, although these laws have been a good time too.
We begin today with a description of how to clean the lamps in the tabernacle, and instructions for the priests to bake twelve loafs of bread every week for the Sabbath; this totally refers to CHALLAH, which I'm going to make tomorrow at KOSHER COOKING CLUB!!! Oh man. I am so excited.
After these rules we receive a fun little anecdote about a half-Israelite, half-Egyptian man living in the camp. One day he gets into a tussle with a full Israelite man and "[utters] the holy name in blasphemy" (Lev 24:11). Moses asks God what to do about this, and God responds that he should "let the whole community stone him to death" (Lev 24:15). Oh geez. That's a pretty big punishment for saying "gosh darnit."
At the end of this chapter, God lays out his handy philosophy of "fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth" (Lev 24:20). Thanks for that one, God! You're a natural diplomat!
Chapter 25 discusses a frequently reoccurring topic: the sabbath, and namely the sabbath for the land, which is excitingly called a jubilee. Just as the Israelites partake in the Sabbath on the seventh day of the week, and abstain from work, the land itself was to be given a sabbath every 7th year. God also explains a rather interesting custom of debt repayment called the Law of Redemption. When an Israelite sells or rents his land, it is not gone from his family permanently; every Jubilee year he is given the chance to buy it back. Likewise, Israelites are not to enslave each other permanently, but rather employ their countrymen as indentured servants until the Jubilee year. Real slaves, God explains, "should come from the nations around you" (Lev 25:44). This reaffirms the fact that the Torah doesn't really give a shit about slavery, just the enslavement of Jews!
Chapter 26 starts out really nice, with God explaining how he will always remain with the Israelites if they keep their covenant with him. At first I thought he was just being sweet, telling the people "I shall establish my Tabernacle among you and never spurn you. I shall be ever present among you; I shall become your God and you will become my people" (Lev 26:11-12). But after this short, loving segment, God reveals himself to be a SCARY MOTHERFUCKER by describing in much more detail what he will do to the Israelites if they don't keep the covenant. As much as I don't want to give you nightmares, I feel compelled to share a few lines: "Instead of meat," God warns, "You will eat your sons and your daughters" (Lev 26:29). He then describes how he will ravage the countryside, incite wars, and "shall make those of you who are left in the land of your enemies so fearful that, when a leaf rustles behind them in the wind, they will run as if it were a sword after them" (Lev 26:36). Wow. Jesus Christ! Don't piss God off, guys!
I personally think Leviticus could have ended here to great effect, but instead we get chapter 27, which is boring and talks about how to make vows. You have to pay a certain amount of silver for these vows depending on how old you are, and if you don't have the right number of shekels the priests will assess your wealth and decide what you have to pay. Okay. Cool. Time for Numbers!
As I did for Leviticus, I will provide a little background information on Numbers, courtesy of my study bible. Numbers tells the story of the Israelites' forty years spent in the wilderness before entering Canaan. The title Numbers came from Greek and Latin translations and was chosen because of the "various censuses and general arithmetical precision that characterize the work." This is true! I'm four chapters in and I'm already sick of all the counting.
Chapter 1 opens, fittingly, with God instructing Moses to make a census of all the men in each tribe who are over the age of twenty and capable of bearing arms. Turns out there are 603,550 people who meet these qualifications! The text tells us specifically how many come from each tribe: Judah is most populous, while Manasseh, the tribe of Joseph's older son, is least. I am forced to wonder how exactly Moses managed to conduct this census, given the absurd number of people. According to the footnotes, these numbers are perhaps real, preserved from a period after the exile when the Israelites were already settled in Canaan -- but there is no way that these were the actual numbers of Israelites wandering around in the desert, because the wilderness could not support so many people for so long. And of course, in making these observations I am already taking the leap of faith that at some point Israelites actually were actually exiled in the desert!
The Levites, FYI, are subject to a different census because of their distinction as priests. In chapter 2 they are counted, and we find that Aaron's tribe numbers 22,300 people. God explains how the Israelites should set up their camp, with the Levites centered around the Tabernacle. Wow. How very interesting.
True to the book's title, Numbers really is just counting so far. I was going to share some funny names of biblical characters (there's a guy named Mushi!!!! Hahahaha!!!) and make a Pokemon joke, but at this point it just seems really unnecessary. I will leave it here for today. In spite of its dull beginning, I think Numbers has some potential to be a funny and interesting book. Stay tuned.
Showing posts with label Leviticus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Leviticus. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Day 10, Leviticus 14-23
I think I spoke too soon in complaining about these books comprising mostly law, because today's reading was golden! It turns out that on top of telling us about skin disease and teaching us how to sacrifice rams, Leviticus also offers some invaluable lessons on genital discharge and sexual practices. Oh boy, oh boy! Is this book great or what?
Chapter 14 opens with a continuation of chapter 13's skin disease discussion. Basically, God carries on in excruciating detail explaining exactly how zits (and other skin deformities, I would presume) should be ritually cleansed. I don't get what the big stinking deal is about these skin problems -- we feel bad enough about them already, God! Don't drag us through these awful and embarrassing rituals just because we might have a zit on our nose, or a mole on our tush. I bet Charles Bukowski is pretty psyched he didn't live in biblical times, because if I remember correctly he had some kind of grotesque chronic acne as a teenager.
Chapter 14 also tells us about fungus, or more specifically what to do "if [God] inflict[s] a fungous infection upon a house" (Lev 14:34). God is going to inflict the fungus? What an asshole! Why are you inconveniencing everyone like this, God? Don't you have something better to do?
Things really heat up in chapter 15, which is all about what to do "when anyone has discharge from his private parts" (Lev 15:2). According to the footnotes, this chapter is actually referring to gonorrhea, which is a relief because -- if you will permit me to be gross for a moment -- I'm pretty sure most people have some form of genital discharge on a regular basis and these rules are pretty strict! For instance, no one can touch the person with the discharge. Anywhere the person sits or sleeps is "ritually unclean." If the infected party spits on a "ritually clean" person -- because apparently having gonorrhea makes you a jerk who spits on everyone -- they become "unclean till evening" (Lev 15:8). If they touch an earthenware bowl, it must be smashed. Is it just me, or is this kind of a mean thing to do to someone who is already probably pretty bummed about their gonorrhea?
This chapter also lays down guidelines for menstruation, which is to be approached in essentially the same way as gonorrhea: don't touch a menstrauting woman, anywhere she sleeps or sits is unclean, etc, etc. This also happens when a man produces semen, except his uncleanness lasts only until the end of the day, as opposed to seven days for women on their periods.
In chapter 16, God explains how the Israelites are supposed to atone for the sins of Aaron's sons, who -- as you may remember -- got smote down in our last reading for offering "illicit fire before the Lord" (Lev 16:1). Apparently getting killed by God isn't atonement enough, and the people have to make a big ol' sacrifice. The ritual is interesting in that it shows us how the community can atone for sin collectively -- something that was outlined earlier on -- and also because it leads to the introduction of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.
Chapter 17 explains how animals should be killed when one intends to eat them; according to the footnotes this chapter reflects the period immediately following the Babylonian exile, when the entire population of Jews lived in the area surrounding Jerusalem, because it is required that all Israelites present meat at the temple there before eating it. This rule will apparently be changed in Deuteronomy.
In chapter 18, we return to the fun stuff: sex laws! Here we learn that we shouldn't have sex with our mothers, sisters or sisters-in-law, aunts, grandchildren, etc. It seems like common sense but many of these things were permissible at earlier times, and were actually seen in the bible: for instance, marrying two sisters is forbidden here, but we know that Leah and Rachel were sisters and they both married Isaac without punishment. An even more textually contemporary example is Moses and Aaron, who were in fact the product of a marriage to an aunt.
Chapter 18 of Leviticus is also where we see that infamous line, "You must not lie with a man as with a woman; that is an abomination" (Lev 18:22). Considering that this chapter is bookended by explanations of complicated ritual sacrifices, intricate rules regarding the treatment of acne and fungus, and many other things that are SUPER RELEVANT TODAY, we should definitely take this line seriously and use it to dictate our modern laws.
Chapter 19 is referred to as the "Holiness Code" because it restates many of the aforementioned laws and outlines penalties for transgressions. One law that I particularly enjoyed is as follows: "Do not treat the deaf with contempt, or put an obstacle in the way of the blind" (Lev 19:14). What? We're not allowed to fuck with blind people? I thought the bible was all about fucking with people!!!
Some of the laws are kind of nice -- like the command to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Lev 19:18) -- and some of them are funny and weird, like the warning not to "debase your daughter by making her become a prostitute" (19:29). Thanks for the tip, God, I didn't know that was a bad thing.
Chapter 20 reiterates the sex teachings of chapter 18, but attaches penalties, most of which are brutal death, although sometimes the transgressors luck out and just get "cut off in the presence of their people" (Lev 20:17). Most of these sexual transgressions are simply said to "bring shame upon" their victims, although it should be noted that for a brother and sister to see each other unclothed is not just shameful but an "infamous disgrace." I wonder what makes it so infamous!
Chapter 21 talks about rules for joining the priesthood. The office is hereditary, passed down through the Levites, but even someone from the proper clan can be denied membership on the basis of several physical defects. In other words, NO FREAKS ALLOWED! This includes "a blind man, a lame man, a man stunted or overgrown, a man deformed in foot or hand, or with misshapen brows or a film over his eye or a discharge from it, a man who has a scab or eruption or has had a testicle ruptured" (Lev 21:18-20). You can't be too tall, too short, too ugly (no unibrows), and both your testicles must be intact. Seems fair. The importance of testicles is further emphasized in chapter 22, which talks more about animal sacrifices and consumption. "If its testicles have been crushed or bruised, torn or cut," God says on the topic of bulls and sheep, "do not present it to the Lord." (Lev 22:24).
Chapter 23 wraps up with a description of all the important holy days, which seem to get talked about a lot: Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah, Shavuot, Sukkot, and Passover. God offers his version of how these events are supposed to be observed, but I'm going to skip it and tell you my condensed take, as your friendly resident Jew. They are really boring services followed by food. Also, during Sukkot you get to build a treehouse or something. I don't know.
Tomorrow we finish Leviticus! Godspeed!
Chapter 14 opens with a continuation of chapter 13's skin disease discussion. Basically, God carries on in excruciating detail explaining exactly how zits (and other skin deformities, I would presume) should be ritually cleansed. I don't get what the big stinking deal is about these skin problems -- we feel bad enough about them already, God! Don't drag us through these awful and embarrassing rituals just because we might have a zit on our nose, or a mole on our tush. I bet Charles Bukowski is pretty psyched he didn't live in biblical times, because if I remember correctly he had some kind of grotesque chronic acne as a teenager.
Chapter 14 also tells us about fungus, or more specifically what to do "if [God] inflict[s] a fungous infection upon a house" (Lev 14:34). God is going to inflict the fungus? What an asshole! Why are you inconveniencing everyone like this, God? Don't you have something better to do?
Things really heat up in chapter 15, which is all about what to do "when anyone has discharge from his private parts" (Lev 15:2). According to the footnotes, this chapter is actually referring to gonorrhea, which is a relief because -- if you will permit me to be gross for a moment -- I'm pretty sure most people have some form of genital discharge on a regular basis and these rules are pretty strict! For instance, no one can touch the person with the discharge. Anywhere the person sits or sleeps is "ritually unclean." If the infected party spits on a "ritually clean" person -- because apparently having gonorrhea makes you a jerk who spits on everyone -- they become "unclean till evening" (Lev 15:8). If they touch an earthenware bowl, it must be smashed. Is it just me, or is this kind of a mean thing to do to someone who is already probably pretty bummed about their gonorrhea?
This chapter also lays down guidelines for menstruation, which is to be approached in essentially the same way as gonorrhea: don't touch a menstrauting woman, anywhere she sleeps or sits is unclean, etc, etc. This also happens when a man produces semen, except his uncleanness lasts only until the end of the day, as opposed to seven days for women on their periods.
In chapter 16, God explains how the Israelites are supposed to atone for the sins of Aaron's sons, who -- as you may remember -- got smote down in our last reading for offering "illicit fire before the Lord" (Lev 16:1). Apparently getting killed by God isn't atonement enough, and the people have to make a big ol' sacrifice. The ritual is interesting in that it shows us how the community can atone for sin collectively -- something that was outlined earlier on -- and also because it leads to the introduction of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.
Chapter 17 explains how animals should be killed when one intends to eat them; according to the footnotes this chapter reflects the period immediately following the Babylonian exile, when the entire population of Jews lived in the area surrounding Jerusalem, because it is required that all Israelites present meat at the temple there before eating it. This rule will apparently be changed in Deuteronomy.
In chapter 18, we return to the fun stuff: sex laws! Here we learn that we shouldn't have sex with our mothers, sisters or sisters-in-law, aunts, grandchildren, etc. It seems like common sense but many of these things were permissible at earlier times, and were actually seen in the bible: for instance, marrying two sisters is forbidden here, but we know that Leah and Rachel were sisters and they both married Isaac without punishment. An even more textually contemporary example is Moses and Aaron, who were in fact the product of a marriage to an aunt.
Chapter 18 of Leviticus is also where we see that infamous line, "You must not lie with a man as with a woman; that is an abomination" (Lev 18:22). Considering that this chapter is bookended by explanations of complicated ritual sacrifices, intricate rules regarding the treatment of acne and fungus, and many other things that are SUPER RELEVANT TODAY, we should definitely take this line seriously and use it to dictate our modern laws.
Chapter 19 is referred to as the "Holiness Code" because it restates many of the aforementioned laws and outlines penalties for transgressions. One law that I particularly enjoyed is as follows: "Do not treat the deaf with contempt, or put an obstacle in the way of the blind" (Lev 19:14). What? We're not allowed to fuck with blind people? I thought the bible was all about fucking with people!!!
Some of the laws are kind of nice -- like the command to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Lev 19:18) -- and some of them are funny and weird, like the warning not to "debase your daughter by making her become a prostitute" (19:29). Thanks for the tip, God, I didn't know that was a bad thing.
Chapter 20 reiterates the sex teachings of chapter 18, but attaches penalties, most of which are brutal death, although sometimes the transgressors luck out and just get "cut off in the presence of their people" (Lev 20:17). Most of these sexual transgressions are simply said to "bring shame upon" their victims, although it should be noted that for a brother and sister to see each other unclothed is not just shameful but an "infamous disgrace." I wonder what makes it so infamous!
Chapter 21 talks about rules for joining the priesthood. The office is hereditary, passed down through the Levites, but even someone from the proper clan can be denied membership on the basis of several physical defects. In other words, NO FREAKS ALLOWED! This includes "a blind man, a lame man, a man stunted or overgrown, a man deformed in foot or hand, or with misshapen brows or a film over his eye or a discharge from it, a man who has a scab or eruption or has had a testicle ruptured" (Lev 21:18-20). You can't be too tall, too short, too ugly (no unibrows), and both your testicles must be intact. Seems fair. The importance of testicles is further emphasized in chapter 22, which talks more about animal sacrifices and consumption. "If its testicles have been crushed or bruised, torn or cut," God says on the topic of bulls and sheep, "do not present it to the Lord." (Lev 22:24).
Chapter 23 wraps up with a description of all the important holy days, which seem to get talked about a lot: Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah, Shavuot, Sukkot, and Passover. God offers his version of how these events are supposed to be observed, but I'm going to skip it and tell you my condensed take, as your friendly resident Jew. They are really boring services followed by food. Also, during Sukkot you get to build a treehouse or something. I don't know.
Tomorrow we finish Leviticus! Godspeed!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Day 9, Leviticus 4-13
Today we delve deeper into Leviticus, which is a pretty annoying book. There is very little narrative structure compared to Exodus and Genesis, and the writers have an obnoxious habit of taking one chapter to explain rules in excruciating detail, then follow with another chapter where the biblical figures actually enact these laws, in word-for-word imitation of the explanation. It is tedious to read, and I profess I skimmed a little bit through some of these sections, but I've picked out a few gems to share with you, my devoted readership.
Chapters 4 and 5 tell us about the weird rituals to be observed in the case of inadvertent sin; these include testifying against someone without giving information, touching an "unclean" person or thing, and forgetting about a spoken oath. Pretty much every ritual involves chopping up animals and smearing blood everywhere, because apparently if you are covered in sacrificial guts it makes you cleaner. There is also a hierarchy of food items to be sacrificed out of respect for people who can't afford to find an unblemished male ram every time they do something stupid; they are also allowed to sacrifice a female goat, pigeon, or even flatbread, which seems like it would be a lot easier. In chapter 6 and 7, God explains the role of the Aaronite priesthood, who are actually allowed to eat a good portion of the leftover sacrifices. Mooches! According to God, "only Aaron's descendants may eat [these offerings]" (Lev 6:18), meaning they get to enjoy flatbread pizza with barbecued ram while everyone else is stuck eating "manna." How unfair!
However, there are a lot of crazy rules regarding all these sacrifices, and God makes it known in chapter 7 that following them all is a big stinkin' deal. For most transgressions -- such as eating food that has come into contact with something "unclean" or eating fat -- the penalty is being "cut off from [one's] father's kin" (Lev 7:21). So in other words, don't fuck up!
In chapter 8, Moses dresses Aaron and his sons in their fancy priest garb, which is described once again because it's so freaking interesting. They put on turbans and smear blood all over themselves, which means they would probably have a really hard time getting through airport security. It's a good thing they don't have to fly from San Francisco to Montreal with a stopover in Toronto, because it would probably take them even longer than it took me.
In chapter 9, the priests make more sacrifices, and in chapter 10 we see the repercussions of messing up, because Aaron's two oldest sons, Nadab and Abihu, "[present]...before the Lord illicit fire, such as he had not commanded them to present" (Lev 10:1). God kills them as punishment. Really, I don't see why anyone would make one of these elaborate and grotesque sacrifices unless it was absolutely necessary anyway, especially now that we see the risk involved!
Chapter 11 lays down the guidelines for dietary laws, what we now call kashrut or keeping kosher. Jews are supposed to only eat animals that are hoofed and chew cud, which eliminates a lot of good stuff and also a lot of weird stuff, like ham and chameleons.
In chapter 12, cleanliness guidelines are laid out for pregnancy and childbirth, with a longer period of uncleanliness following the birth of a female child. According to the footnotes, this is possibly because the birth of a daughter was seen as less desirable than the birth of a son. Well, that's nothing new. After all, biblical men get to grow up to wear turbans and smear blood all over the place, while women tend to be nothing but baby-makers. Clearly, the former is more important.
Chapter 13 explains rather lengthily how one must handle a skin disease. There are a lot of precautions to be taken in response to any physical blemish, and also in the case of mold growing on clothing. I won't go into too much detail about this because it's very specific and not particularly interesting -- if you really want to know you can read the section yourself -- but I will share my favorite passage: "Anyone who suffers from a virulent skin disease must wear torn clothes and have his hair all disheveled; he must conceal his upper lip and call out, 'Unclean, unclean.' So long as the sore persists, he is to be considered ritually unclean, and live alone, staying outside the camp" (Lev 13:45-46). Haha! How weird! It would certainly be tough to have a pimple in biblical times.
Anyway, sorry for the briefness of this entry. I suspect that Leviticus and possibly Numbers and Deuteronomy as well will not be the most interesting of books, but we will be done with them by next Wednesday and will return in due time to our charming narrative filled with scandal and sex and murder! Stay tuned.
Chapters 4 and 5 tell us about the weird rituals to be observed in the case of inadvertent sin; these include testifying against someone without giving information, touching an "unclean" person or thing, and forgetting about a spoken oath. Pretty much every ritual involves chopping up animals and smearing blood everywhere, because apparently if you are covered in sacrificial guts it makes you cleaner. There is also a hierarchy of food items to be sacrificed out of respect for people who can't afford to find an unblemished male ram every time they do something stupid; they are also allowed to sacrifice a female goat, pigeon, or even flatbread, which seems like it would be a lot easier. In chapter 6 and 7, God explains the role of the Aaronite priesthood, who are actually allowed to eat a good portion of the leftover sacrifices. Mooches! According to God, "only Aaron's descendants may eat [these offerings]" (Lev 6:18), meaning they get to enjoy flatbread pizza with barbecued ram while everyone else is stuck eating "manna." How unfair!
However, there are a lot of crazy rules regarding all these sacrifices, and God makes it known in chapter 7 that following them all is a big stinkin' deal. For most transgressions -- such as eating food that has come into contact with something "unclean" or eating fat -- the penalty is being "cut off from [one's] father's kin" (Lev 7:21). So in other words, don't fuck up!
In chapter 8, Moses dresses Aaron and his sons in their fancy priest garb, which is described once again because it's so freaking interesting. They put on turbans and smear blood all over themselves, which means they would probably have a really hard time getting through airport security. It's a good thing they don't have to fly from San Francisco to Montreal with a stopover in Toronto, because it would probably take them even longer than it took me.
In chapter 9, the priests make more sacrifices, and in chapter 10 we see the repercussions of messing up, because Aaron's two oldest sons, Nadab and Abihu, "[present]...before the Lord illicit fire, such as he had not commanded them to present" (Lev 10:1). God kills them as punishment. Really, I don't see why anyone would make one of these elaborate and grotesque sacrifices unless it was absolutely necessary anyway, especially now that we see the risk involved!
Chapter 11 lays down the guidelines for dietary laws, what we now call kashrut or keeping kosher. Jews are supposed to only eat animals that are hoofed and chew cud, which eliminates a lot of good stuff and also a lot of weird stuff, like ham and chameleons.
In chapter 12, cleanliness guidelines are laid out for pregnancy and childbirth, with a longer period of uncleanliness following the birth of a female child. According to the footnotes, this is possibly because the birth of a daughter was seen as less desirable than the birth of a son. Well, that's nothing new. After all, biblical men get to grow up to wear turbans and smear blood all over the place, while women tend to be nothing but baby-makers. Clearly, the former is more important.
Chapter 13 explains rather lengthily how one must handle a skin disease. There are a lot of precautions to be taken in response to any physical blemish, and also in the case of mold growing on clothing. I won't go into too much detail about this because it's very specific and not particularly interesting -- if you really want to know you can read the section yourself -- but I will share my favorite passage: "Anyone who suffers from a virulent skin disease must wear torn clothes and have his hair all disheveled; he must conceal his upper lip and call out, 'Unclean, unclean.' So long as the sore persists, he is to be considered ritually unclean, and live alone, staying outside the camp" (Lev 13:45-46). Haha! How weird! It would certainly be tough to have a pimple in biblical times.
Anyway, sorry for the briefness of this entry. I suspect that Leviticus and possibly Numbers and Deuteronomy as well will not be the most interesting of books, but we will be done with them by next Wednesday and will return in due time to our charming narrative filled with scandal and sex and murder! Stay tuned.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Day 8, Exodus 32-40, Leviticus 1-3
Good morning, and happy Sunday! I am glad to announce that I have made it through my first week of bible blogging unscathed -- that's to say, I'm able to keep up with it and God hasn't smote me down for being irreverent yet. Of course, we still have eleven weeks to go, so there is plenty of time for him to exact heavenly revenge.
Today's reading opens with the Israelites doing something so incredibly stupid that I'm forced to wonder if maybe they collectively got hit in the head with one too many pyramid bricks back in Egypt. As you remember, our last reading followed Moses on his trip up Mount Sinai, where he received some fascinating and not at all drawn out instructions about how to build a tabernacle. Chapter 32 lets us know what the tribes of Israel are up to during this forty day period, and as I've said, they aren't really using their thinking caps here.
In spite of the fact that they've been continually shown proof of God's presence, the Israelites get really bored of waiting for Moses to come down from the mountain and so they "[congregate] before Aaron and [say], 'Come, make us gods to go before us. As for this Moses, who brought us up from Egypt, we do not know what has become of him'" (Exodus 32:1). Okay. I can agree that forty days is a long freaking time, but come on, Israelites! If you had any idea what Moses is going through up there, listening to tabernacle instructions repeated over and over, you would suck it up and realize how lucky you are to just be allowed to chill and wait. Hasn't God given you enough reason to trust him yet?
Apparently not. Aaron shows no hesitation when presented with this plan, collecting all the golden jewelry from the people and melting it so he can form a golden calf. When it's done he proclaims it to be "your gods that brought you up from Egypt" (32:4), using the plural in spite of the fact that he only made one. Well, okay. The people make sacrifices to the idol, and "then [give] themselves up to revelry" (Exodus 32:6) which we can take to mean that everyone gets CRUNK.
This segment makes me wonder, though... Do the Israelites have ANY idea what's going on? It seems to me that most of these people have very little grasp of the fundamentals of their religion, as though their awareness of traditions eroded during the years of slavery. Do they even know they're supposed to worship one God? I really can't tell if they're complete asshole whiners, or just ignorant.
Anyway, way back up on Mount Sinai God tells Moses that the people have committed a terrible sin, and sends him down to discipline them. God is all set to "pour out [his] anger on them" (Exodus 32:10) but Moses shows his prowess as a therapist and talks God out of his fury: "Why pour out your anger on your people, whom you brought out of Egypt with great power and a strong hand? Why let the Egyptians say, 'He meant evil when he took them out, to kill them in the mountains and wipe them off the face of the earth'? Turn from your anger, and think better of the evil you intend against your people'" (Exodus 32:11-12). Good point, Moses! Well put! But when Moses sees the revelry of the Israelites, even he cannot fully contain his anger, "[flinging] down the tablets and [shattering] them at the foot of the mountain" (Exodus 32:19). Then he grinds the calf into powder and makes the Israelites drink it in their water, like it's that Emergen-C vitamin drink or something.
In spite of the fact that he totally enabled all this sinful activity, Aaron tries to worm his way out of it by telling Moses, "You know how wicked the people are" (Exodus 32:22). Although I personally feel that the asshole should own up for his misdeeds, Moses is satisfied by this response and Aaron remains high priest. The Levites -- which is Moses and Aaron's tribe, in case you forgot -- fulfill their priestly duties by killing about three thousand of the Israelites, presumably those who participated most enthusiastically in the idol worship. Kind of funny how God can give the instruction "Each of you kill brother, friend, neighbor" (Exodus 32:27) only a few short chapters after he lists murder as one of the big no-nos on the Ten Commandments.
In chapter 33 and 34, the gang finally gets moving again, as God sends them off in the direction of the "promised land." Unfortunately, he is unable to go with them because he fears "that [he] should destroy [the tribes] on the way, for [they] are a stubborn people" (Exodus 33:3). In other words, the Jews piss him off too much. The Israelites are pretty bummed about this, but they keep on keeping on, and Moses maintains his communication with God by setting up a "Tent of Meeting" outside camp each night. In this tent, he can talk to God "face to face, as one man speaks to another" (Exodus 33:11). That's pretty cool! I don't think anyone else has been able to do that yet! During their chats, Moses is able to convince God to lead the Israelites himself, and the dynamic duo also remake the two stone tablets that Moses smashed against the mountain -- although this takes another forty days, during which Moses goes "without food or drink" (Exodus 34:28). Geez Louise!
Moses emerges from the meetings with God with his skin aglow and shiny, because of the divine presence. Interestingly, in one well known Latin translation, this is mistranslated as "Moses's face had horns." First of all, that's a really scary image! What, is he the elephant man or something now? Second of all, this led -- remarkably -- to the adoption of horned headpieces by ancient priests. Now that's what I call a lapse in communication!
In Chapter 35, the Sabbath laws are restated, possibly because they were destroyed when Moses smashed the original stone tablets. Then Moses spends the rest of the chapter explaining to the people how they are to build the tabernacle, which is great, because I don't think we've heard anything about a tabernacle before! Oh wait, we already had like FIVE CHAPTERS ABOUT IT? Well good thing it's so interesting because we have some MORE!!!! I am dismayed to say that the rest of Exodus centers around the making of the tabernacle, and we get to hear again about exactly how many cubits this piece of wood should be and exactly how many holes should be punched in this piece of cloth and so on and so forth. In chapters 36 and 37 the people work, under the leadership of Bezalel and Oholiab, and in chapters 38 through 40 the tabernacle is completed and filled with lots of cool stuff like gold and incense.
In case you are wondering, because I had no idea whatsoever, a tabernacle is a portable dwelling place for a divine presence. In cloud form, God inhabited the tabernacle and guided the Israelites towards the promised land.
Here's a picture!
Today's reading opens with the Israelites doing something so incredibly stupid that I'm forced to wonder if maybe they collectively got hit in the head with one too many pyramid bricks back in Egypt. As you remember, our last reading followed Moses on his trip up Mount Sinai, where he received some fascinating and not at all drawn out instructions about how to build a tabernacle. Chapter 32 lets us know what the tribes of Israel are up to during this forty day period, and as I've said, they aren't really using their thinking caps here.
In spite of the fact that they've been continually shown proof of God's presence, the Israelites get really bored of waiting for Moses to come down from the mountain and so they "[congregate] before Aaron and [say], 'Come, make us gods to go before us. As for this Moses, who brought us up from Egypt, we do not know what has become of him'" (Exodus 32:1). Okay. I can agree that forty days is a long freaking time, but come on, Israelites! If you had any idea what Moses is going through up there, listening to tabernacle instructions repeated over and over, you would suck it up and realize how lucky you are to just be allowed to chill and wait. Hasn't God given you enough reason to trust him yet?
Apparently not. Aaron shows no hesitation when presented with this plan, collecting all the golden jewelry from the people and melting it so he can form a golden calf. When it's done he proclaims it to be "your gods that brought you up from Egypt" (32:4), using the plural in spite of the fact that he only made one. Well, okay. The people make sacrifices to the idol, and "then [give] themselves up to revelry" (Exodus 32:6) which we can take to mean that everyone gets CRUNK.
This segment makes me wonder, though... Do the Israelites have ANY idea what's going on? It seems to me that most of these people have very little grasp of the fundamentals of their religion, as though their awareness of traditions eroded during the years of slavery. Do they even know they're supposed to worship one God? I really can't tell if they're complete asshole whiners, or just ignorant.
Anyway, way back up on Mount Sinai God tells Moses that the people have committed a terrible sin, and sends him down to discipline them. God is all set to "pour out [his] anger on them" (Exodus 32:10) but Moses shows his prowess as a therapist and talks God out of his fury: "Why pour out your anger on your people, whom you brought out of Egypt with great power and a strong hand? Why let the Egyptians say, 'He meant evil when he took them out, to kill them in the mountains and wipe them off the face of the earth'? Turn from your anger, and think better of the evil you intend against your people'" (Exodus 32:11-12). Good point, Moses! Well put! But when Moses sees the revelry of the Israelites, even he cannot fully contain his anger, "[flinging] down the tablets and [shattering] them at the foot of the mountain" (Exodus 32:19). Then he grinds the calf into powder and makes the Israelites drink it in their water, like it's that Emergen-C vitamin drink or something.
In spite of the fact that he totally enabled all this sinful activity, Aaron tries to worm his way out of it by telling Moses, "You know how wicked the people are" (Exodus 32:22). Although I personally feel that the asshole should own up for his misdeeds, Moses is satisfied by this response and Aaron remains high priest. The Levites -- which is Moses and Aaron's tribe, in case you forgot -- fulfill their priestly duties by killing about three thousand of the Israelites, presumably those who participated most enthusiastically in the idol worship. Kind of funny how God can give the instruction "Each of you kill brother, friend, neighbor" (Exodus 32:27) only a few short chapters after he lists murder as one of the big no-nos on the Ten Commandments.
In chapter 33 and 34, the gang finally gets moving again, as God sends them off in the direction of the "promised land." Unfortunately, he is unable to go with them because he fears "that [he] should destroy [the tribes] on the way, for [they] are a stubborn people" (Exodus 33:3). In other words, the Jews piss him off too much. The Israelites are pretty bummed about this, but they keep on keeping on, and Moses maintains his communication with God by setting up a "Tent of Meeting" outside camp each night. In this tent, he can talk to God "face to face, as one man speaks to another" (Exodus 33:11). That's pretty cool! I don't think anyone else has been able to do that yet! During their chats, Moses is able to convince God to lead the Israelites himself, and the dynamic duo also remake the two stone tablets that Moses smashed against the mountain -- although this takes another forty days, during which Moses goes "without food or drink" (Exodus 34:28). Geez Louise!
Moses emerges from the meetings with God with his skin aglow and shiny, because of the divine presence. Interestingly, in one well known Latin translation, this is mistranslated as "Moses's face had horns." First of all, that's a really scary image! What, is he the elephant man or something now? Second of all, this led -- remarkably -- to the adoption of horned headpieces by ancient priests. Now that's what I call a lapse in communication!
In Chapter 35, the Sabbath laws are restated, possibly because they were destroyed when Moses smashed the original stone tablets. Then Moses spends the rest of the chapter explaining to the people how they are to build the tabernacle, which is great, because I don't think we've heard anything about a tabernacle before! Oh wait, we already had like FIVE CHAPTERS ABOUT IT? Well good thing it's so interesting because we have some MORE!!!! I am dismayed to say that the rest of Exodus centers around the making of the tabernacle, and we get to hear again about exactly how many cubits this piece of wood should be and exactly how many holes should be punched in this piece of cloth and so on and so forth. In chapters 36 and 37 the people work, under the leadership of Bezalel and Oholiab, and in chapters 38 through 40 the tabernacle is completed and filled with lots of cool stuff like gold and incense.
In case you are wondering, because I had no idea whatsoever, a tabernacle is a portable dwelling place for a divine presence. In cloud form, God inhabited the tabernacle and guided the Israelites towards the promised land.
Here's a picture!
Neat! Anyway, with that being said, we have now completed the Book of Exodus. Onto Leviticus!
I will preface with a bit of background: the word Leviticus is derived from Levite, the tribe of the priests. To my knowledge, the book contains mostly law (no more crazy stories... sorry guys!) and according to the footnotes of my study bible, here's what we should expect: guidelines for making offerings and sacrifices, the ordination of the Aaronite priests, rules regarding cleanness, an explanation of Yom Kippur (the annual Day of Atonement), something called the "Holiness Code", and regulations for the fulfillment of religious vows. Wow! Pretty exciting.
The first three chapters focus on grain or animal sacrifices and are really gross, explicitly outlining exactly how animals should be dismembered -- for instance, when sacrificing pigeons one must "wrench off the head [and] burn [it] on the altar" (Lev 1:15). And that's just a start. I feel like PETA would have a field day with this stuff.
Also, a bit of interesting etymology: what word is often used to describe the whole-offering of an animal by fire? Holocaust, from the Greek holókaustos, meaning "wholly burnt." How fascinating that this was the name later given to the German extermination of Jews during World War II.
Since we've covered a lot of ground today, I won't go into agonizing detail about all the gross ritual practices... That's for tomorrow! But I will add in one additional note: at the end of chapter 3, it is stated that "All fat belongs to the Lord" (Lev 3:16). I am in favor of this. Take it, God! My love handles are yours!
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