Before I begin the entry, let's collectively take a moment to appreciate the fact that CHRONICLES IS OVER! OUR STORY CAN ADVANCE!
Of course, we still have four chapters and some loose ends to tie up before we dive into the Babylonian exile. So let's waste no time!
Chapter 33 begins with the reign of Manassah, who -- if you remember from earlier -- is so atrociously bad as a king that he causes God to lose faith in Judah entirely. However, the Chronicler changes the story a little and has him repent at the end. After rebuilding the shrines and lighting his children on fire he gets taken captive in Assyria where he learns "that the Lord was God" (2 Chronicles 33:13). I guess one of the Assyrians lent him a thesaurus.
Manassah is followed by his son, Amon, who is actually even worse than him. He only reigns for two years, after which he is killed by his own courtiers! His eight-year-old son Josiah comes to power, and he is a pretty good king for an eight-year-old. Josiah destroys the rebuilt shrines and pleases God so much that he promises the monarch that Judah's destruction will not happen in his lifetime. Soon afterwards, Josiah meets a grisly end at the hands of the Pharaoh. Gee. That's great, God.
The final four kings are unremarkable fuck-ups, two of whom reign for less than a year. Their names are Jehoahaz, Jehoiakim, Jehoachin, and Zedekiah. I don't even know how to comment on that. Anyway, throughout the end of this tome the increasing foreign influence in Judah is clear, and at the very end the Babylonians triumph. They burn down the temple, kill a bunch of Jews, and send the survivors to be slaves in Babylon. It's not all bad, though! The second book of Chronicles actually ends on a bit of a cliff-hanger, with the Persian king, Cyrus, telling the Jews to return and rebuild their temple after many years of exile.
What will happen next?!! Stay tuned to find out.
The Book of Ezra is closely linked to both Chronicles and Nehemiah, and tells the story of the Judahites return to the promised land after their exile. Apparently this particular tome is infamous for its historical inconsistency, but it doesn't really matter because it's not like anyone takes the bible seriously these days! I mean, it's not like people still use these books to make moral decisions and write laws, or believe them word for word? Am I right? Of course I'm right. That'd be silly.
Also, Ezra himself doesn't make an appearance until chapter 7. Today's reading concerned the return to the promised land under the leadership of a fellow named Sheshbazzar.
In chapter 1, the haggard exiles make their way back to Judah. Chapter 2 is a census, meaning we get to read all their names and how many of them there are, which never ceases to be a delight. According to this source, forty-two thousand Jews return. That is a pretty diminished population, compared to earlier censuses! Wow.
In chapter 3 the Jews begin to rebuild their temple on the old site, but in chapter 4 they encounter some hostility from the locals, who apparently want to help. This is totally not okay and the Jews say so, but the new inhabitants are so pissed that they bribe the court officials to "thwart the purpose of the Jews" (Ezra 4:5). So the temple-building is halted for a considerable period of time.
After a few Persian kings come and go, a local official goes to ask the Jews on what basis they think they are supposed to be rebuilding the temple. They tell the official about the decree from King Cyrus and he writes a letter to the current king, Darius. Incidentally, isn't Darius the name of the kid with headgear in As Told by Ginger? What a name!
Darius goes to the archive and, upon finding the decree, grants the Jews complete freedom to continue rebuilding. In fact, he says that anyone who "tampers with this edict will have a beam torn out of his house, and he will be fastened erect to it and flogged" (Ezra 6:11). Talk about supportive! What an accommodating guy!
That's it for today. Tomorrow, Ezra will actually make an appearance, which I'm excited for because I remember learning about him in Hebrew School and liking him. Or maybe I didn't learn about him, and just like the name Ezra. I really don't know. You don't know. But we both will tomorrow!
Showing posts with label 2 Chronicles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2 Chronicles. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Day 37, 2 Chronicles 21-32
The saga continues! As much as I've been hating on Chronicles, I have to admit that today's reading wasn't so bad. It dealt with a handful of the more obscure kings, who were nearly impossible to keep track of in Kings because they were interspersed with Israelite kings. Here, we can get a better sense of who each of them were.
Yesterday's reading took us to the end of Jehoshaphat's reign, and today we begin with his son, Joram. Joram is a total asshole who kills all his brothers, "as well as some of the leading figures in Israel" (2 Chronicles 21:4). What a turd! He also marries Ahab's daughter and generally participates in evildoing, so God punishes him by allowing Edom to gain independence, and more significantly by inflicting him with "a chronic disease of the bowels, so that they prolapse and become severely ulcerated" (2 Chronicles 21:15). Oh geez! The bowel disease eventually kills Joram, and he is succeeded by his son, Ahaziah.
Ahaziah is a total mama's boy, and both he and his mother Athaliah are un-pious losers. Ahaziah gets killed in Israel early in his reign, and Athaliah responds to this event by trying to kill all the royal family -- namely, her grandsons -- so that she can rule herself. She assumes the crown for six years, but unbeknownst to her, one of the heirs to the throne was hidden away and survived; when he is seven years old, he becomes king of Israel, and Athaliah is killed.
This boy-king is named Joash and he is actually remarkably competent compared to his predecessors. He is known for renovating the temple, although his reign was marred towards the end when he was somehow led astray and wound up killing his own son. As punishment for this crime, God allows the Aramaeans to invade and plunder Judah. Joash, meanwhile, is killed by his own servants, and his son Amaziah becomes king.
Amaziah is a mostly good fellow, obedient and God-fearing, but like his father before him he slips up near the end of his reign. After his piousness earns him the defeat of Edom, he brings back their idols and begins to worship them. He also gets cocky and tries to invade Israel, but they tell him to cut it out because he just has a big ego and isn't actually capable of winning. Like his father, he is also killed by conspirators.
Amaziah's son Uzziah also follows the "good guy who fucks up a little" trope. While mostly a decent king, he makes one dumb mistake of trying to burn incense in the temple. This is the job of the priests, not the king, and as punishment, God makes him a leper.
The most lauded king of today's reading, Jotham, only gets a very short chapter. I guess the Chronicler shares my opinion that the fuck-up kings are way more fun to read about! He is succeeded by the reading's most sinister king, a fellow named Ahaz. Ahaz does lots of dumb things, like setting his children on fire, and as punishment is soundly defeated by both Aram and Israel. God does intervene to prevent the Judahites from becoming slaves, however.
The last three chapters center around Hezekiah, an excellent king who restores temple service after his predecessor's disastrous reign, and is generally very supportive of the Levites. Good for him!
I hope you learned something new from this summary, and weren't entirely bored. Tomorrow we finally -- FINALLY!!!! -- finish Chronicles. I am so ready for this Babylonian exile, you don't even know!
Yesterday's reading took us to the end of Jehoshaphat's reign, and today we begin with his son, Joram. Joram is a total asshole who kills all his brothers, "as well as some of the leading figures in Israel" (2 Chronicles 21:4). What a turd! He also marries Ahab's daughter and generally participates in evildoing, so God punishes him by allowing Edom to gain independence, and more significantly by inflicting him with "a chronic disease of the bowels, so that they prolapse and become severely ulcerated" (2 Chronicles 21:15). Oh geez! The bowel disease eventually kills Joram, and he is succeeded by his son, Ahaziah.
Ahaziah is a total mama's boy, and both he and his mother Athaliah are un-pious losers. Ahaziah gets killed in Israel early in his reign, and Athaliah responds to this event by trying to kill all the royal family -- namely, her grandsons -- so that she can rule herself. She assumes the crown for six years, but unbeknownst to her, one of the heirs to the throne was hidden away and survived; when he is seven years old, he becomes king of Israel, and Athaliah is killed.
This boy-king is named Joash and he is actually remarkably competent compared to his predecessors. He is known for renovating the temple, although his reign was marred towards the end when he was somehow led astray and wound up killing his own son. As punishment for this crime, God allows the Aramaeans to invade and plunder Judah. Joash, meanwhile, is killed by his own servants, and his son Amaziah becomes king.
Amaziah is a mostly good fellow, obedient and God-fearing, but like his father before him he slips up near the end of his reign. After his piousness earns him the defeat of Edom, he brings back their idols and begins to worship them. He also gets cocky and tries to invade Israel, but they tell him to cut it out because he just has a big ego and isn't actually capable of winning. Like his father, he is also killed by conspirators.
Amaziah's son Uzziah also follows the "good guy who fucks up a little" trope. While mostly a decent king, he makes one dumb mistake of trying to burn incense in the temple. This is the job of the priests, not the king, and as punishment, God makes him a leper.
The most lauded king of today's reading, Jotham, only gets a very short chapter. I guess the Chronicler shares my opinion that the fuck-up kings are way more fun to read about! He is succeeded by the reading's most sinister king, a fellow named Ahaz. Ahaz does lots of dumb things, like setting his children on fire, and as punishment is soundly defeated by both Aram and Israel. God does intervene to prevent the Judahites from becoming slaves, however.
The last three chapters center around Hezekiah, an excellent king who restores temple service after his predecessor's disastrous reign, and is generally very supportive of the Levites. Good for him!
I hope you learned something new from this summary, and weren't entirely bored. Tomorrow we finally -- FINALLY!!!! -- finish Chronicles. I am so ready for this Babylonian exile, you don't even know!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Day 36, 2 Chronicles 7-20
Man, is Chronicles ever boring. I wasn't hugely interested in the succession of kings the first time around, so reading through it again is just brutal.
Today's reading took us from Solomon to Jehoshaphat. The events of Solomon's reign were mostly unchanged, with a few details omitted here and there. Most interestingly, the Chronicler omits the chapter of negative things that Solomon did; he is presented as a pretty flawless king, akin to his father David.
Chronicles ignores the northern kingdom (Israel), focusing only on Judah. Perhaps because the kings of Judah were collectively more adept, and perhaps because it is simply his intention, the Chronicler's depiction of the successive monarchs seems more sympathetic. Rehoboam, who was no great shakes back in Kings, does not seem nearly as incompetent here. His mistakes are still acknowledged -- for instance, Judah is invaded by the Pharaoh, King Shishak, and the Chronicler considers this to be divine punishment -- but Judah is still said to "enjoy prosperity" (2 Chronicles 12:12) under Rehoboam.
Meanwhile, Jeroboam's ascension in Israel is barely touched on. The rival northern kingdom simply appears in the text without much explanation, with a line mentioning that Jeroboam "rose in rebellion against his lord, and certain worthless scoundrels gathered round him" (2 Chronicles 13:7). Of course, by "certain worthless scoundrels" the Chronicler means "10/11ths of the Palestinian population."
Chapter 13 concerns Abijah, who does a decent job as a ruler, and chapters 14 through 16 follow with a more detailed account of his son Asa. For the most part, Asa is a good king, although he makes the dumb mistake of aligning himself with the king of Aram to fight the northern kingdom, which is a no-no because he "relied on the king of Aram and not on the Lord" (2 Chronicles 16:7). He also becomes crippled as an old man because he goes to physicians about his foot disease instead of praying to be healed.
The last four chapters of today's reading deal with Jehoshephat. As you may remember, Jehoshephat aligned himself with Ahab in order to fight the Aramaeans, and during this war, the Israelite king was killed. What a bummer. There are a few other battles mentioned in the tome, and Jehoshephat triumphs because he loves God and so on and so forth.
Sorry for being so flippant in my summary, but I AM SO SICK OF THESE STUPID KINGS. THEY ARE ALL THE SAME. READ IT YOURSELF IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW.
Have a great day!!
Today's reading took us from Solomon to Jehoshaphat. The events of Solomon's reign were mostly unchanged, with a few details omitted here and there. Most interestingly, the Chronicler omits the chapter of negative things that Solomon did; he is presented as a pretty flawless king, akin to his father David.
Chronicles ignores the northern kingdom (Israel), focusing only on Judah. Perhaps because the kings of Judah were collectively more adept, and perhaps because it is simply his intention, the Chronicler's depiction of the successive monarchs seems more sympathetic. Rehoboam, who was no great shakes back in Kings, does not seem nearly as incompetent here. His mistakes are still acknowledged -- for instance, Judah is invaded by the Pharaoh, King Shishak, and the Chronicler considers this to be divine punishment -- but Judah is still said to "enjoy prosperity" (2 Chronicles 12:12) under Rehoboam.
Meanwhile, Jeroboam's ascension in Israel is barely touched on. The rival northern kingdom simply appears in the text without much explanation, with a line mentioning that Jeroboam "rose in rebellion against his lord, and certain worthless scoundrels gathered round him" (2 Chronicles 13:7). Of course, by "certain worthless scoundrels" the Chronicler means "10/11ths of the Palestinian population."
Chapter 13 concerns Abijah, who does a decent job as a ruler, and chapters 14 through 16 follow with a more detailed account of his son Asa. For the most part, Asa is a good king, although he makes the dumb mistake of aligning himself with the king of Aram to fight the northern kingdom, which is a no-no because he "relied on the king of Aram and not on the Lord" (2 Chronicles 16:7). He also becomes crippled as an old man because he goes to physicians about his foot disease instead of praying to be healed.
The last four chapters of today's reading deal with Jehoshephat. As you may remember, Jehoshephat aligned himself with Ahab in order to fight the Aramaeans, and during this war, the Israelite king was killed. What a bummer. There are a few other battles mentioned in the tome, and Jehoshephat triumphs because he loves God and so on and so forth.
Sorry for being so flippant in my summary, but I AM SO SICK OF THESE STUPID KINGS. THEY ARE ALL THE SAME. READ IT YOURSELF IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW.
Have a great day!!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Day 35, 1 Chronicles 24-29, 2 Chronicles 1-6
We return to Kings/Samuel: The Abridged Version. Since we've already read ALL OF THIS I'm afraid there isn't much of interest to report. Chapters 24, 25, and 26 outline the divisions of the priests, musicians, and "doorkeepers" respectively. The doorkeepers are apparently temple guards of some kind, and are grouped with clerks and magistrates. Mostly these chapters consist of long lists of names which are, as you can imagine, completely riveting.
Chapter 27 lists the notable army officials, commenting that no census exists of the Israelites under the age of twenty. Apparently, Joab tried to make one but it "brought down wrath on Israel" (1 Chronicles 27:24) and he had to stop. What a bummer! I love reading numbers and names!
1 Chronicles wraps up David's reign, and 2 Chronicles kicks off with Solomon; the whole crazy and fantastic story of Absalom vying for the crown is omitted, which is too bad. These early chapters concern Solomon's efforts to build the temple, along with a shortened description of how many cubits everything is. Solomon erects some pillars and names them Jachin and Boaz, which is pretty weird since they are inanimate objects. I wonder if the pillars talk to him when no one else is around, like in Calvin and Hobbes.
Is that funny or am I making too much of a stretch? Cut me some slack here! I have nothing to work with!
Chapters 5 and 6 concern the dedication of the temple, which is exactly like the first account of the dedication of the temple, except I think at some point the word "Levite" replaces the less specific term "priest." Good thing there is a whole 'nother book for this.
Chapter 27 lists the notable army officials, commenting that no census exists of the Israelites under the age of twenty. Apparently, Joab tried to make one but it "brought down wrath on Israel" (1 Chronicles 27:24) and he had to stop. What a bummer! I love reading numbers and names!
1 Chronicles wraps up David's reign, and 2 Chronicles kicks off with Solomon; the whole crazy and fantastic story of Absalom vying for the crown is omitted, which is too bad. These early chapters concern Solomon's efforts to build the temple, along with a shortened description of how many cubits everything is. Solomon erects some pillars and names them Jachin and Boaz, which is pretty weird since they are inanimate objects. I wonder if the pillars talk to him when no one else is around, like in Calvin and Hobbes.
Is that funny or am I making too much of a stretch? Cut me some slack here! I have nothing to work with!
Chapters 5 and 6 concern the dedication of the temple, which is exactly like the first account of the dedication of the temple, except I think at some point the word "Levite" replaces the less specific term "priest." Good thing there is a whole 'nother book for this.
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